I wish you had wished something yourself so I could've corrupted it

yea and I also wish the grammar police doesn't catch me now XD

Granted, they catch you later

I wish I had early access to a complete version of Pokemon Prism.

Granted, but as soon as you get it, the system that you were going to play it on dies.

I wish I had a car that could transform into a fighting robot.

^Granted but now it wants to fight you

I wish to be in Tokyo Dome this year to watch K-1 WGP live

Granted, but you have to sit behind a 9 ft. tall person who totally blocks your view of the action.

I wish I had the power to turn invisible.

Granted, but you're organs remain visible.

I wish there was a Screw-On Head feature-length movie.

Granted, but half of the movie is filled with commercials for cleaning products.

I wish I had a banana.

Granted, but (CENSORED).

I wish my mind wasn't quite so filthy.

Genie with a Clean Mind!

i wish Nicolas Cage got his cake
Nicolas Cage Wants Cake

Granted, but the cake is half eaten, and has also been left out in the rain. In other words, the cake is a complete mess.

I wish I had some Chinese food.