I spotted the little jar on the table labeled "ACME Party tricks. Strawberry Lava". I rushed into the kitchen, buttered a toast, ran back again and gracefully caught the flying jam before it could

stain the new sofa i had bought just weeks ago. as it landed on the crisp warm toast.
i...

was about to dig in, when a thought hit my mind "but... but... I absolutely HATE strawberry jam, what am I doing?!". The answer, of course

was not to eat the strawberry jam on toast, but to use it as a wepon against almighty midget.
i thought its a long shot but.. he might be alergic to the strawberry jam. but how do i get him to eat it ???..

I realized that the ridiciluous potato peel mask would have to go, and a daring, devious and downright devilishly dirty plan started to unfold:

first of all i slowly "but bravely" reached into my back pocket to pull out my potato peeler...
but..

IT WAS GONE! Instead I gawked at the broccoly in my hand, eyed desperately for

....for something to complete my fearsome boccoli based weapon of Almighty Midget Destruction. I searched my other pocket and thanked god for the short piece of string and black hole which i found there. I pulled out the black hole and....

swallowed The Mighty Midget

who, due to a fatal miscalculation, misjudged the size of his opponent. Let's face it, chewing was unneccessary. BWAHAHA! cried