Granted.
You are now numb to all physical sensation.

I wish everybody was dead but me

Granted. You are now left to live the rest of your lonely years wallowing in your misanthropy, enjoy! :)

I wish that decent live bands came to play in Bangkok.

Granted, you'll soon receive a visit of a band of very agitated (and slightly deranged) individuals to have their fun on expense of others.
I wish I had an angel... :whistling:

Thy wish, GRANTED. your very own archangel will be with you shortly, in the mean time...

I rather wish cigarettes had never been invented.

Granted.
I personally make you suffer for 4 long days until you are rescued by the merciful hand of death.

I wish I had a cigarette now

granted, you now have a cigarette, but it's wet :)

I wish I was better at backgammon :D

Granted. You have been sented to Backgammon dojo in Japan, where you spent five years perfecting your skills.


I wish something cool would happen in my life...and It would be something that doesnt have anything to do with death

Granted.
You get raped by a snowman.

I wish that we didn't void our bowels at the moment of death

Granted, everyone dying now find pickled onions mysteriously shoved up their bum. Everyone hate you for your wish

I wish I didn't tell the secrets of playing

Granted, now I can't play backgammon with you :P

I wish that I smoked less.