And you have just become the radio operator on Titanic sending the :sos: signal with the water knocing at your cabin door.

I wish for a smaller kite.

The kite became so small, it got inside your body and into your bloodflow of your brain... then it became large again.

I wish I win!

You just won... an old, falling apart hut of a fisherman bordering a beach of a cold ocean.
I wish every day would be sunny

Welcome to the center of the sun, where it never, ever rains. <insert nefarious laughter>

I wish for the death of Calypso, and the end of the Twisted Metal tournament!

Granted; unfortunately it comes about by you winning the tournament and then strapping 200 pounds of C-4 to your chest and upon him congratulating you, you detonate the explosives and blow up Calypso, as well as a small chunk of the earth you loved so much. Oh yeah, and you die too.

I wish for a burrito so big that God couldn't eat it, and then I want to live to watch him try and eat the whole thing.

Granted, you now watch God eating the burrito.... in heaven.

I wish I had a bit more money at the moment.

Granted, you know have a bit more money, but not enough to buy anything useful.

I wish that I could drink more coffee.

granted. Your stomach is expanded ten fold and your bodies tolerance for caffeine increases by just as much. Unfortunately you are in a terrible car accident and they have to completely remove your lower jaw, tongue, and upper mandibles and seal up the hideous gash with skin from your left buttock. You live the rest of your life as a freak who has to be fed via an IV.

I wish to be as emaciated and disturbing but alive as the creepy dude in my avatar.

Granted. But you remain the frozen, cyber-picture that your avatar is.

I wish that I had the Nintendo Wii console, and it worked and was fun and I always used it to play the latest games :P

granted, but you get a little over zealous playing Tennis with the Wii-mote and it flies from your hand and smashes your TV and the glass shards slice your eyeballs and you are now blind so you can no longer see the screen to play your precious game.