OK, the Ukrainian colonel in charge of a the nuclear missile silos doesn't think nuking means killing, so he launches a nuke with the coordinates of your house at the time he knows you're at home.

I wish I'm not close to your house when the nuke hits.

You're far far far away from my home when the launch occurs.
The electronics in the missile is so absolete that the missile deviates from his due course and heads precisely where you are, far far far away from my home.
May you enjoy the experience, it will be short but extremely intensive.


I wish Hellraiser's sequels were much better.

No prob - they just made a new 5D sequel that's really great. You go and watch it, but don't realize that 5D means you're now sucked in the movie and become the first victim and die the most horrible and agonizing death you can imagine.

I wish they made a movie entitles Freddy vs. My Little Pony

Granted. Your pony is brutally slaughtered while dreaming, and you are lynched by a furious animal rights group.

I wish I knew where my cap is.

Granted. You now know that it is lodged in the belly of the rancor. You try to get it back, but in doing so, you get eaten. But at least you have your cap while slowly being digested by a rancor.

I wish I owned a tamed orphan rancor that would attack anyone I commanded it to, but ONLY the people I command it to. Also, it would only move when I told it to, and was meticulous about where it stepped.

P.S. People die in a nuking process, so thats dying.

Granted , you get yor rancor.
It's tame, does all you say and is carefull where it puts his feet.
You can command it at your wishes.
You love it and it loves you.
You live happilly together.

T'll that day comes, that worldwide Nuke_Teh_Rancor_Day.
Your rancor gets nuked.
And as you always stay close to it you're also nuked to dust.


I wish chadtherodentslayer would stop nagging about his *People die in a nuking process, so thats dying*.

Granted. I nuke you both :)


I wish for good things today.

Granted.
Plenty good things happen to all of us, but not to you.
You have a hell of a day.
Your room is flooded.
Your PC burns out.
You break both your legs.
Your fingers are squeezed between a automatic door with a faulty security switch, so all your fingers are borked.
You break your jaw.
But yeah, plenty good things happen to all of us.................but not to you.

Tssssssssssssssss, ah the poor. :huh:


I wish they never made Hellraiser:Hellworld.
And more: I wish I didn't had to watch it yesterday evening.

Granted, you didn't. It's real. Welcome to hell.

I wish all will work out for all

Yup, all work out, so the whole world gets covered with everybody's sweat and you're the first to slowly drown in the fould smelling bodily fluid.

I wish you didn't have a cold at the time and could smell it.