Granted, and they'll give you life in prison

I wish I could transport myself instantaniously to any place of choise

Granted, but then you wonder what mars would be like, and suffocate from lack of oxygen.

I wish to be Queen of Universe...

granted you.. um. you are the queen of the universe! yeah. aaa um. BIG universe. its so HUGE and difficult to control um..

i wish i didn't screw this post

Granted, you screwed yourself

I wish for a big balloon

Sure: A put the balloon is too big and and because youre tied into it, you fly sky high and the balloon explodes.....

I wish I had a my very own McDonalds

You promptly have a heart attack.

I wish I had a motorcycle.

Granted, you now have a motercycle... *steals*

I wish that i had access to all erotic paysites in this world

Granted, your PC is now filled with spyware.

I wish I had access to all the classiffied documents in pentagon.

Granted. Now all you have to do is to escape trought the window, because FBI and CIA are on your tail right now.

I wish I had a nymph.

Granted, too bad you're impotent.

I wish I lost all my money.