president Bush arrived via helicopter. He looked at corpse and said: "Damn. This is what we get when we sell games like Postal 2. We must...

we must, we must increase our bust," at which point his head swelled up like a gigantic, pulsating tomato, which the American Public then cut open and fried for a greasy, oversized southern breakfast. The American Public then...

announced that Postal 3 will be a happy-three-hugging-loving-teddy-bear-game. However, the Postal dude (who was fired because he didnt wanted to work on Postal 3)...

was really unhappy with this plan. In fact, he was so incredibly unhappy that his anger and rage boiled up from the pit of his stomach and poisoned his heart. Filled with such vicious anger the Postal Dude climbed to the top of a clock tower with an Uzi in his right hand and a handgun in his left. When he reached the top of the town's clock tower, he looked down below at the now ant-like American Public and...

King Kong, who was climbing the building....

was sooo very happy, because he had finally found the Postal Dude, his sworn enemy - now King Kong could take his revenge on the Postal Dude. You see, many years ago, when they were children, King Kong and the Postal Dude had lived next door to each other. During a humid and sticky afternoon, all those many years ago, the Postal Dude had broken King Kong's heart by...

shooting his mother with a shotgun. Postal Dude ran away, cause he didnt wanted to get arrested. King Kong promised that he would one day find Postal Dude and avenge his mother's dead...

"I'll... I'll... I'll PIXELATE YOU, you esso bee!" he screamed in a mad frenzy, knowing full well he was

afflicted by itchy scrot disease

which was sadly only curable via an injection of Pure Maturity. As Maturity was no-where to be found at this time, he scratched himself continuously and wondered if...