Granted, however you don't posses a mind.

I wish for more cheese in cheeseburgers.

Granted, you are no given cheeseburgers with nothing but cheese. Cheese lettuce, cheese bun, cheese sauce, cheese instead of meat.... All the blandest Norvegia, and you are disgusted so much you live your remaining days screaming, wearing a straitjacket and everything around you looks and smells like cheese.

I wish the Danish burger chef was back in business making burgers.

Granted, but he dies. Cus he got NUKED. HE DIED IN A NUKING PROCESS. THE NUKE KILLED HIM. HE DIED FROM A NUKE!!!! NUKING IS KILLING!!!!!!!! PEOPLE DIE!!!!!!!!!!

I wish I wasn't so obsessive about this crap...

:hysterical: Yeah! Granted! GRANTED, I tell you! Now that you have nothing more to live for, you jump off a bridge somewhere in the wilderness, and noone will ever hear about you or the nukes again LOL

I wish my headphones gave me louder music!

Granted.
They also reproduce the lovely sound of gunshots.
Your both eardrums are blast away.
Even as your four tiny braincells.

I wish nukes would get the love and tenderness they need.

Granted.
You make love to a nuclear warhead.
Violently.
Nice wish, pervert.

I wish it was christmas already

And it's snowing al around us, because the christmas is here. Unfortunately many people were completely unprepared for the cold weather and die - especially the elder and youngest people - now their family members sek revenge on you and do horrid things to you involving snow, air, your various body parts with holes and so far without them and other kitchen appliences :sneaky:

I wish you wouldn't enjoy what they're doing to you.

Granted , he doesn't enjoy it.
But you also don't enjoy it when they do the same to you.

I wish I never began smoking.

Tough I LOVE big fat cigars.

Granted.
You are an ardent non-smoker
You deliberately comment on how nasty and unhealthy smoking is to every smoker you see, oozing smug all over the shop.
At some point, quite justifiably, one of them shivs the crap out of you.

I wish I knew what jesus would do

Jesus would shiv the ardent non-smoking Smugs too. You are happy in that knowledge until you quit smoking, and Jesus shivs you too.

I wish our clients were reasonably intelligent.