...the sun disappeared and darkness fell upon the world...

A small man in a shiny uniform and a golden top hat appeared in the spotlight and bid the crowd to be silent with an obscene gesture. A snare drum sneered at him, the PA system let out a short, shocking scream, and the man whispered into his microphone:

"all americans will die soon!"

At a table in the corner, a group of ex-Cubans looked at each other nervously and greatly disappointed. At another table nearby an old-timer in a wheelchair, deaf as a doughnut, applauded wildly, and in a dark corner at the opposite side a voice said "Yes, Greedo; I was just coming to see your boss. Tell Jabba I have his money, at last"...

...In the meanwhile some Stormtroopers were searching through the town for some fled enemies of the empire, while Freddy Krueger struggled to figure out why he suddenly landed in a 30 years old movie where nobody ever heard something of him yet...

"Director's Son's Cut" was the obvious answer that noone bothered to contemplate. Instead the jawas, the wookies, Liza Minelli's storm-troupers, one high-flying fellow who was too short for a stormtrooper, an oddball named Han Ford Prefect, E.T., the Alien, the Predator, It, a rowdy bunch of Killer Clowns and the Brain from the planet Arouse got in a GTA TIE convertible and puffed off to

...fight the evil Vogons at the next intersection of the Galaxy...

Meanwhile, deep below Dinky Island...

the Dread Pirate Le Chuck stroked his beard luxuriously and repeated his mantra over and over to himself,

"I am beautiful, I am worthy, I am beautiful, I am worthy..."

However, no-matter how often he told himself this, and no-matter how many times he lit jasmine scented candles and soaked in a hot bath whilst meditating - it just wasn't working.

The gnawing teeth of self-doubt were nibbling at his very being, because...

... the gracile and beautiful Asian princess avoided him at all costs, causing him to feel bitter and stupid...