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you're strapped to the chair you're sitting on...

you like to eat kebabs because...

you can't resist food with (a) spit in it.

You can spot a three headed monkey at 5 miles if

...your mother-in-law's house is five miles away.

your teddy bear will eat you if...

You keep calling him Dupert instead of Rupert

You cause a sensation in the news if

..you define what a teddy bear is and make it a scientific discovery
you are increasingly disturbed if...

... you're arguing with your pets about political issues.


You have extremely cool pets if....

Your pet stegosaurus can drive a truck


you like nachos if...

alternatively, you could gnaw your legs off for supper, but you realize that you have already done that.

Your job interview doesn't work out at all for you, if

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