Ok seeing as though a few of you would like to know what my idea was,
i shall Explain. (cough) (cough) <clears throat> Shall i Begin. right here Goes....
i was trying to start a new game about a Wacky Story, the "rules" are pretty Simple. I would start by saying something like "I was Walking down the Road and then". then the next person to read it would continue from the story above
he could say something like i got slapped in the face with a wet Kipper and then.... so the story would be
"i was walking down the road and then <next person> i got slapped by a wet kipper and then".
seeing as though i had taken this thread off for a short while, I shall Start this from near the bottom of the page

The game starts near the bottom scroll away :ok:

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(GAME-CRACK @ Jun 5 2006, 09:05 PM) [snapback]234529[/snapback]</div>you have ADD don't you? :huh:
it's hardly been a day since you posted. Now be a dear, stop eating sugar and explain what you wanted to do. :ok:

^what he said.
I already explained the friend here that spamming is not a good thing. I guess we should wait out that reaction time :ok:

Well judging from the sub-description he wanted to tell us a wacky story, which doesn't belong in Competition / Games.

But if he can tell us what he was planning, we could work on it.

Word of advice, when I started The Fun Game, it took hours before the first actual response occured, so please try to be patient. Theres other things to do while waiting for people to post here.

I think he only needs some friends...right? :cheekkiss:

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(David86 @ Jun 6 2006, 07:24 PM) [snapback]234842[/snapback]</div>...in real life.

guesst I Heard From A Few Of Your ex Girlfriends, and they told me, "The Inside Of Your Underpants Looks like a Racetrack Corner ? :bleh:

HAHAHAhahaa...aha... <_<

LET THE GAME BEGIN

I was walking Down the road and then

I was slapped in the face by a wet Kipling, who then

Ate my banana, which then proceeded to...

.... :blink:

"With half a banana sticking out of it's mouth and that mad stare", I reasoned, "it's now tiime to...

drop that banana and jump into the...

turbo charged pram parked at the side of...

of giant eight headed monster :O

So I thought "Woaaaah, I'm gonna have to....

buy more baseball caps, and so I went

with the funny men in the funny white coats to

the baseball merchandise shop and I...

demanded: "Hey, little baseball cap guy! I demand 500.000 baseball caps on the spot." The huge goon behind the counter...

-

meh Vivian posted in the same time...

a file cabinet where he took out a paper and said "sign here, here and here", incidentally that paper was

a voucher stating "I, Babe Ruth or so they say can, according to Baseball Heaven Caps and Sundries..."

fart freely when pulled by my finger and...

must be bottled with the lid on tight so it can be used in the future for...

population control", I looked up and

-

pen and wrote a note to the coroner saying...

"Dear coroner"............ but then i was interupted by this Big huge

absolutely disturbingly vast Chihuahua that

-

baseball cap, so I threw the document and...

started yelling "Tessie! You are the only, only, only" while the baseball bat...

Pulled out this massive scary looking

furby. I screamed...

Godzilla! Godzilla! Cos Godzilla Arrived at the Scene. Then...

with his lazer eyes he shot at the furby, but furby mannaged to...

pull out his godzilla-slayer2000, which resembled an arthritic octopus...

Then a civilian yelled LOLOMGWTFBBQM8! So..

everyone was confused and...

Godzilla was the most confused which made his eyes go crosseyed, with the red hot lazers still comming out of his eyes they........

swung inwards, frying his nostril hairs before zapping his brain, a brain that

"Tastes very nice indeed" I said, licking my lips and pocketing the electric razor that had just appeared in front of my eyes...

-

put on my clever glasses-nose-moustache cloaking device,...

taking care to keep my wig on, and...

slowly tiptoed toward the.....

wax lipped rhino blocking the...

Enitre Fu*king hallway, so i had to stop. Then someone came and said...

"Guybrush!!!???". I knew that...

he was a Crazy game freak, who thought i was Guybrush. I knewed it dosn't pay to mess with stupid, so i Knocked him out with my fist. Then a group of stormtroopers fired thier blasters at me, saying "Don't let him get away!". I lit my lightsaber up, then...

Threw it into the lightsaber disposal bin. Next I decided to...

Go to the shops, because i forgot to buy..........

a rubber rapier, a chicken with a pulley in the middle and...

...a new Lightsaber! But then, out of nothing...

came a little, curious droid with the letters R2-AMNOT with its...

anti wax lipped rhino gun, so i could finally Proceed. But all out of sudden, DARK HELMET showed up on the scene, and i had to flee to the toilet. I crawled throught the toilet window, finally i was free. But ALL OUT OF SUDDEN FIDEL CASTRO Arrived at the place outside the toilet. He...

was wearing a bra with matching underware, and had this strange look in his eye. so i..

tried to ask whats wrong, but right in the moment i wantet to speak Fidel Ran away, scared by Dark Helmet who found me. He Said...

"Care for a cookie? Or maybe some...

Coffe? Or Both?" but then...

he suddenly got a grip on himself, adjusted the cloak and with much stomping of boots, signifying nothing, he

got in the pub in Main St., but forgot his hat. So I...

Got up in the middle of the pub and started singing Turning Japanesa...

all while a troupe of stormtroopers joined in in a sinister jenka. I think it's fair to say that...

they sung the Spaceballs song good. But then, out of nothing, Barf Crap's on the Floor. Then...

This 7 foot guy slipped in it, as he picked himself up, his eyes filled with fury he....

summoned the most feared demon of all times, ever to exist:

Satan Claus with his horrifying sack of...

poodles.

words could not Describe how ugly and fierce these........

dogs eating pancakes were until

some casual passer-by said, rather casually "Woah! That's some pretty ugly and fierce poodles you got there!" before

I said to him: "Hey you, Why don't you...

stick your arms in the air, because i was about to...

tickle him under the armpits. Tee-hee i thought...

what a silly world I live in...

Just as I gaze upon this, a huge!, no, a most huge...

aw, let's face it, it was so incomprehedebly, boundlessly oversized it would make you laugh hysterically, behold the...

then i forgot what i was about to say because my mobile phone rang, i was shocked to find out that it was ........

The U-Boat Commander David wich Returned from the Exile in a Country named "Suspension", and he Brought a 80% Warnlevel with Him. Then, he got totally nuts. And then, out of nothing JOHN DE FOE appered on the Scene! The Welder Himself! He Stabed and Killed Everyone with a Machete. But David Survived and Drawn his Wild West Revolver and Fired at the Welder. The Welder Fell down in the Reactor Pit. Then, David Written a Completley Stupid post in the "Wacky Story" thread at Abandonia.com, The Admins came and Thrown him down in the Reactor Pit too, everyone Cheered. But then, he Came back from the Grave, drawn his Revolver AND...

pulled the trigger. A small flag appeared out the nozzle that had the words "DING!" written in large, friendly letters. Everybody...

found that amazingly funny and tried too. But little did they know that...

they missed the last, crucial word, written in tiny, sinister letters beneath, the dreaded word...

L0L and then started to

laugh at the poor guy who shot. But out of nowhere, appeared...

Ozzy Ostrich, with darryl somers behind him on a leash...

a Green Dragon dancing in a short skirt saying..

"Off to Bilbo's lair we go
and then the stinking rat'll know
when my green scales he beholds
he's gonna run pretty short on gold"

while Liza Minelli and a gang of...

mobsters marched in and started

Raping him until...

The "ring ring ring" bananaphone rang, which made everybody...

Run away leaving only

one seventh of a motorcycle dwarf gang standing, shouting "

" Macho, macho man!
I wanna be
a macho-o man!" When they ran off, leaving their cycles

to rust and fall into the river of time

, famous for the annual river rafting Grand Prix, where the winning team is granted full retirement pensions and

a red, pointy stick, which can be used to...

constantly pick someones

nasty, pointy teeth, while giving an eccentric performance to the

Nerve endings, i reached inside my pocket to find my...............

electric razor, which i had completely forgotten about in the last few hectic hours. I remembered my mum always telling me to shave, or all the women would avoid me, so i started shaving. It wasnt till to late that i remembered that my dad never tought me to shave, and to top it all of i was a FEMALE... :omg2:

freak show artist: The soon-to-be-bearded lady.

with no time to spare i..............

ran to..

the gun shop to pick up my already ordered...

ACME Roadrunner Devastator Gatling/Bazooka made...

in japan, but this was no ordinary Bazooker because...

...it was made by immigrates not true japanise citizens. Hence it imidietly...

became a hit in both the Disney and manga underworld, feared for their...

huge vegetables they can shoot and the gimmick

mcdonalds toys they come with

Sharp magnetic strips of................................................ .....................

magnets. "stupid mackers toys" i thought...

... while slowly spilling ketchup on ...

my huge, long...

...fried sausage I ordered at this rather strange....

school that had psycho kids with...

little beards and wrinkley skin, but that was not the worst thing about them. the worst thing was..

they were all gay and were singing YMCA in front of the

Indian Chief who was wearing a Brightly coloured..

CD on his lips, turning the inocent children into some gigantic

Almost Erect..

strawberries armed with sugar and

Big bums and bad breath they began to...

transmute into perfect gems revived by some

Old man, who happened to be casually passing by...

a green beret rotten corpse wearing a tiny

pair of high heels, but the strange thing about them was.

that they weren't wearing any socks.

So a zombie arrived at the scene...

wondering where all the women were. Then he remembered he was a zombie and therefore wasnt supposed to be able to think. He became very confused and decided to sit down and rethink his life, erm, afterlife, without actually thinking...

...that he was already dead and thus not able to think so he...

started packing his bag for his big trip to

go and find a brain so he can think for himself, so he got on the bus sat down and then..

exploded, for no apparent reason other than that he was thinking about donkeys at the time, which just goes to show...

... the famous rhyme: Have a donkey on your brain, and you'll have a lot of pain! :hysterical:

Then descending into the abysal volcanic

crater he had just shoved into the ground...

full of worms devouring the putrid soil beneath the feet of the Master, also known as

... Ini Kamoze singin' "here comes the hotstepper" while

I shed the cursed blood of your childlike corpse and await with possessed dedication the redeeming desire of my much praised downfall :P

And fall he did, while the spectators applauded loudly in praise while trying to get their eyes fixed on

the torch that lit the

hair of one

who no longer knew his position so he sought a mentor who told him

to lighten up already, you're so damn boring...

and so our quest begins, the mighty

hamster with giant claws opend its mouth to show...

the way to fame, glory and lots of half-naked women making erotic gestures indicating their intentions for the next 2 hours include alot of, well to be frank, you...

are dead. the end ...

was near, as you started floating up to heaven you hear a realy loud...

dork who pretends to be Darth Vader, claiming

that the dark side of the force will be with him because

hes got cookies

but no ordinary cookies, these cokies had...

deadly Explosives in them. LOL

And so our deadly explosive cookies

Exploded in the Mouth of the...

end. but the end wasn't here for the cookies...so the plans were ruined and

Himmler put a Link in his sig Luring you to a Zombie who Eats Your Brain. But then, like

no one expected, it didn't eat brains but it made him a God, gathering his followers for

a massive orgy, with lots of alcoholic beverages and tiny teddy biscuits

in Nutziland. Everyone Jelled...

about the state of mind of the President which

seriously talked about the silly idea

of breastfeeding his pitbull

but found that he hadn't the room for it. Then...

Some sucka...

believed that he's a god when actually he was a

Fuehrer. Then he...

got layed. But thats the end of that story. once apon a time...

zer was a Song...

that everyone knew but

him that they were zombies which

ate people, which was very cliche of them

cause they were wearing wedding gowns for the

the rock consert, his mother was playing in. she was the....

legionare called

Hairy Mary, but then all of a sudden her head Exploaded, and then.....

george cracked the game

that had no sense in it because

The game was indestructible :omg2: , or uncrackable, as the case may be

OK "HALT"........ i think we have lost the story somewhere along the line ?

So what do you say lets start another ?? ok lets start



One morning i woke up and my eye started to........

vomit in front of the carcass

because my eye was the name of my dog, and he woke up to find a dead......

lightsaber

misplaced by a absent minded toad like 'master' with nasty pointy... ears and an appetite for

fat lemmings driven by

anger. all of a sudden..

superman cracked their heads leaving behind him a mass of

Heinz BIG & CHUNKY Beef Stockpot. Everyoe was cheering, except the people who just had beef stock sauce poured in their eyes, who were jumping around crying out in pain and cursing their rotten luck

as well as rotten stock. This event, of course caused the stock market to

boost the beef prices. But this of course had that big disadvantage

that the already over-beefed up booster prices decided to disregard all laws of economics and rather

yes! LOL

As the booster prices guffaw level increased, so started other prices to giggle, then laugh then writhing in laughing pain until

no! came in the scene. Enraged

by the unruly prices caring for nothing but cheap thrills and poking mindless fun at maybe, who

got killed by 47 with a Fiber Wire. 47 Aquired Silent Assasin ranking, and...

recorded the match with HLTV but the lag caused the demo to

accept unintended deaths by innocent bypassers 3 weeks after the assasin was loudly arrested charged with

possesion of napkins..

wich he tried to put in his shoes but already was too late because

He forgot to put any shoes on. as he realised this he

was knocked flat out by this 7 feet goon with napkins suprisingly sticking out of his

nostrils. i said to the 7 foot goon why are they stickin out of your nose, and he replied..

because i got high!

Well, how high? I wondered out loud trying to measure him with a 10 inch ruler that I got dirt cheap at

the corner shop, but as i bent down i realised he was on a pair of stilts. so i ...

painted them yellow with black stripes and

Quickly sanded them down so they where as thin as match sticks, and guess what happend next...

Shoutet a merry game host randomly passing by on his way to

Empty the trash. then all of a sudden a big...

boisterous bimbo from Bangladesh began to bang a bunch of brown bananas brutally over Bjorn Borg's back while singing

1 banana 2 banana 3 banana 4, 5 banana 6 banana 7 banana more,
then..

as the seventh banana was swung like an unlikely Aztec Seremonial Sacrifice Dagger towards the Swede, who by now looked more like a deranged banana split, the Banglabimbo let out a cry of rage as the 8th banana failed to materialize.

then i had this mad urge to go and lick all the banana, of the banana splatterd Swede!
but then rememberd, i lost my tongue a year ago in a freek accident. so i...

went for a lurid nibble instead. The grossed out audience now dug out their pitchforks and torches, a loud voice commanded "too ze kasztell!" and everybody

started running towards me with pitchforks in the air. i froze with fear for a second but then...

I drew my semi-automatic pitch-fork neutralizer, and with a shakey "do you feel lucky, peasants?" that wouldn't convince a nervous wreck, I

grow more immune to social sedatives. Every day the web is more transparent

i took aim. with trembeling fingers, i slowly squeezed the trigger of my pitch-fork neutralizer gun
but what i hadnt realised was...

, what is our purpose in this universe, who are we and where did this semi-automatic come from? All sorts of strange thoughts came

Running through my mind, while i was stuck in a daydream, one of the angry mob threw a pitch-fork at my head.

I will ascend above the heights of the clouds; I will be like the most High ;)

:blink:

My rantings came to a screeching halt as an owl eyed, deeply confused, very old greek stared bewildered and deeply into my eyes, causing me to

undo my trousers, and swing them around my head. now fully fixed in a trance i...

had no intentions, whatsoever, to resist. I shouted in a mad frenzy:

of with my underpants!!! infact i want everyone to take of your underpants!!!
people just stared at first. but then one man took of his underpants, then another!
and another!!. untill the whole world was naked. i then procceded to shout...

"Tofu! Everybody do the Tofu! Let the Tofu begin!" and the ecstatic crowd went "Tofu! Tofu! Tofu!", louder and louder until

A distant cry arise from the fathomless well that is my soul .I can not hear the words so I throw my heart in like a coin and wish that it would sink forever

it got so loud, that the buildings started to shake, and the floor trembled. this was like the bigest earthquake ever. everyone was..

chewing. spitting, gargeling, wearing and tearing tofu like lsd crazed gorillas gone

without bananas for a year. all of a sudden it went totaly dark.
i dont know why it supprised me because it was 10.30 pm. but it did!
the sky began to open and then..

some thundering voice suggested "close the damn door, someone. Please."

so I said "we are not dead, we have never lived .... "

All of a sudden i heard this loud ringing ???????????
as i opend my eyes to find the ringing noise was my alarm clock!!
it had all just been a dream.i was relieved i got out of bed got dressed and then...

the green rhino handed me the toothbrush which doubled as a

En pat er at segja fra Hermodi at hann reid niu naetr dokkva dala ok
djupa sva at hann sa ekki fyrr en hann kom til arinnar Gjallar ok reid
a Gjallar bruna. Hon er pokd lysigulli. Modgudr er nenfd maer su er gaetir
bruarinna. (i have no idea what this means btw)

wich doubled as a nose hair trimmer, i thanked the green rhino and went downstairs
only to find that...

sort of broke it up there, didn't you? (^looks like old norse, I'd say. Only you need the ? and the ?.)

green rhinos didn't exist, and thus I probably never brushed my teeth or trimmed my nose hairs. I felt so

tired because my alarm had woke me up. so i went downstairs to find

GAME-CRACK !!!!!!!!! please stick to the rules............... thanks................. :bleh:

ok, back on topic

Hmmm. edited again.

the little black almighty midget leapt forward wearing a potato peel mask and a squirt gun filled with

lava ? i was so supprised because it had not
melted the gun?? but then..

this is insane

Fast forward?

the little black almighty midget leapt forward wearing a potato peel mask and a squirt gun filled with

lava ? i was so supprised because it had not
melted the gun?? but then..

I spotted the little jar on the table labeled "ACME Party tricks. Strawberry Lava". I rushed into the kitchen, buttered a toast, ran back again and gracefully caught the flying jam before it could

stain the new sofa i had bought just weeks ago. as it landed on the crisp warm toast.
i...

was about to dig in, when a thought hit my mind "but... but... I absolutely HATE strawberry jam, what am I doing?!". The answer, of course

was not to eat the strawberry jam on toast, but to use it as a wepon against almighty midget.
i thought its a long shot but.. he might be alergic to the strawberry jam. but how do i get him to eat it ???..

I realized that the ridiciluous potato peel mask would have to go, and a daring, devious and downright devilishly dirty plan started to unfold:

first of all i slowly "but bravely" reached into my back pocket to pull out my potato peeler...
but..

IT WAS GONE! Instead I gawked at the broccoly in my hand, eyed desperately for

....for something to complete my fearsome boccoli based weapon of Almighty Midget Destruction. I searched my other pocket and thanked god for the short piece of string and black hole which i found there. I pulled out the black hole and....

swallowed The Mighty Midget

who, due to a fatal miscalculation, misjudged the size of his opponent. Let's face it, chewing was unneccessary. BWAHAHA! cried

The Almighty Midget, but just as the hole was about to swallow the midgets feet, I thought wow what a realy nice pair of shoes. so i ...

swallowed his cap wondering if

it would have tasted better with a dash of salt ?

after the mayhem that had just happend, i realised i was going to be late for work !!
so instead of putting on my really smart shiney shoes . i reached out and quickley grabed my...

uncle's fish

Because for some strange reason i can move faster holding my uncle's fish.
so i left the house, and sprinted down the road until......

I saw a shop's sign reading "No fish and plenty of chips (due to fishy circumstances). Loons running about with a fish in their possession, by all means enter. Please!". I

entered the shop and showed my uncle's fish to the shopkeeper. He said...

"i'm dead"

shocked by the answer, i ran out of the shop and start yelling: "he's dead!"

"what, the fish?" said an obviously lost character sitting in a basket in front of an off road bike, wishing he had called home. "Evening Toady" I

said: "No, you fool!" and smacked him in the face with my uncle's fish who started crying. The obviously lost character sitting in a basket in front of a off road bike...

cried in mock fear "Scr*w you guys! I'm going home!". No sooner did the alienated basket case utter these words, then

is home came to him. Puzzled from what i had seen, i started to

died

, a LOT! before deciding I forgot to turn off the gas stove in the wiener hut, so I

Had this sudden urge to go and blow it up. with lighter in hand i....

bent down and listened to the hissing of the escaping gas, wondering if flicking on the lighter was such a good idea after all..."Yes it is," I decided, and lit the gas. The explosion was so huge I was blown all the way to....

Monkey Island™ where I, totally not to my supprise, found myself face to face with

a baboon holding a banana tree in his hands

, a torn tutu in one of his feet and some dubious looking wax lips in his gob, previously owned by

it's previous owners who decided they didn't need it anymore because of the

fact that wax lips equals social suicide anywhere, anyday, so they traded them off for

a hairy and socialy disturbed cat who doesn't likes purple striped pyjamas

, bananas in any kind of pyjamas, tellytubbies OR fish due to some unfortunate episodes early in the kitty's life, involving

inmense pain and screaming followed by inmense screaming and pain

something which every half-decent quack would have to agree, are the diamentrally opposites of each other, thereby causing

the hairy cat to explode in front of a television wich displayed an image of purple striped pyjamas and tellytubbies

on the sole, sinister mission of confuzing every cat they come across, so ordered by the BBC's secret departement for

But then i was distracted by something falling from the sky.
i said to myself is it a bird?, is it a plane ??, no its a ...

superman like creature with two heads and 5 hands! So naturally i grabbed my shotgun and pointed at

a witch with a pointy hat, nasty pointy teeth and a broom that served no purpose whatsoever, kept mainly for

banging little childeren on their heads. I pulled the trigger, but instead of shooting the witch through her head the shotgun exploded and the bullet flew to China, where

it was such a blast that made an impression on a huge crowd gathered for

free noodles that the Chinese army was giving away as a promotion for cat food

made from annoying tourist asking too many weird questions about wok making, wok cooking, wok flinging, wok lipping, and just to enrage the tourist board further, also about

strange puppies from the skies who go splat on the pavement, grannies in wheelchairs who go mad at birds and chinese cookies

That taste like warm vomit, and are so large they can be used as a..

medium sized, fast smuggler's spacecraft for a wokie, closely related, but not close enough, to

the Ufo 9000. i dont know why, but i clicked my heels three times, at the same time mumbeling the words "theirs no place like home.
then, without warning..

they were snatched by a small, toad like basket case who let out a cry of joy "Yeehaw! Finally!!!" before

jumping up in the sky, falling down and changing into a Forum Hobbit, so small you could barely see him but big enough to notice he had eliphant ears

Suddenly....... I.....woke.....up......again.....
i couldnt believe it it was all just a dream ???puzzled by the strange dream i had just had, i decided to go and get my brain looked at. so i picked up the phone and..

dialed 555-ACME-SHRINK, but all of the sudden the phone was becoming huge! and still growing!!! "This must be...

one of those new-fangled growing phone thingummies ive heard about so much". When did i get one of those?, i thought. must be...

of my uncle who buys strange fishies wich you can use to slap strangers in their face. So i used the giant phone to call 555-ACME-SHRINK and asked if they delivered tulips and lasagna pie's but as i expected they answered

"Are you sure son? I mean, the tulips are quite dead, and the lasagne is, to be perfectly honest with you, extremly past the date and very pungent and beside we're all out on both tulips and lasagne and frankly, we never sold those items... we don't exist. No, we don't. I'm sorry, but you'll have to try somewhere else. Goodbye". This, however

enraged me so much I decided to grab my car, put it in my pocket and I jumped of a cliff. While I was falling down I saw strange napkins falling with me. When I reached the bottem I noticed that the scenery looked very much like Wonderland...

"Hey, aren't you Alice?" inquired a 10-ton-weighted-down white rabbit with a tophat rushing downwards as fast as only a rabbit weighted down with a 10 ton weight can do,

I answered:"Course I am friend! Have a light for me?" I saw that the rabbit didn't like the answer i gave

"No smoking in Wonderland!" the furious furball fired at me, totally ignoring the

rules and regulations of the International Behavior of Heavy Furballs.
While the bullet missed me I thought of the guy who decided not to post next in some kind of topic

so popular that everyone agreed that you would be no-one if you didn't appear there at least 3.000.073 times in your lifetime, songs were sung about it, Oprah had a 2 days feature on the topic and

the heavy rabbit exploded and all his feathers flew through wonderland

where everybody wondered "what's with all the feathers?", "Did that silly ol' bunny took a 10 ton dive again?" and "I wonder if I could find a use for a load of bunny-feathers?". The answer to this, of course, was

put it in pillows with ninja's printed on it! The simplicity of this answer stunned me so much i

failed to notice I landed, hard, crashing a tea party making an utter fool of myself, before scurrying along to hide in

a chamber with a tiny door (10cm - 10cm) where I saw a muchroom lying on an altar. I ate the muchroom in 1.27 seconds, ignoring the cookie of

"mushroom side effects enhancer" glued underneath the Would-be-Magic-if-it-weren't-for-the-fact-that-everybody-knew-it's-all-just-a-cleverly-executed-trick Mushroom left there by

little leprechauns who were searching for their pot with goldcoins that really tasted like soup

a la Cold Turkey, edible only for deranged pixies with no taste buds or wish to live since the EU decided there was no such thing as Leprechauns, pixies or unicorns. This minor under-worldly set-back, however

changed the Leprechaun Society into a cruel and manipulative existence that banned turkey's

existence altogether as a daft atempt to lead the prying eyes of

childeren who didn't liked tuna

trains, tofu, Toga, trams, toys, tanks, tulips, Troy, Trafalgar, tidbits, toads, thrushes, tigers, tiger sharks, Tonto, turbines, Tom & Jerry, thongs, trials, TV, tickets, Tinkerbell, Thurman, Truman, tickles OR tall trees. Tuesdays, on the other hand,

are the childerens favorite because you can get a free trip to PX9-573 where they respect aliens as much as radiators

which means, they like to fill the aliens with hot water and listen to them

Saying that they Love Mc Donalds and hated Bruger King! Then someone Commitet Suicide to Escape...

and thereby destroying PX9-573! How

the Death Star got there was anybody's guess, even the Emperor himself asked himself "How did the Death Star get here?", but in the back row

an smart-behind imperial said:"By moving through an galaxy far far away?".
He and his friends laughed their asses of but the Emperor didn't find this very funny... He ordered

Caesar salad, Lamb in mint sauce and fruit cake, much to the exitement of

the little fruits in the cake who started yelling:"Eat me!". This, however

made the evil minded Emperor decide that "NO! I will NOT eat you". "Now suffer in great pain as I... wait, that didn't make sense now, did it?" he suddenly suggested to a passing

icebear who was holding a SquirrelSlayer™ 3000, however i didn't noticed he had one when it was too late

as a man in black and a Stetson hat entered the oddly out-of-place saloon door, eyes prying, growling "Any real squirrel slayers around? I didn't think so. Hahaha!". Seldom has anyone uttered such ill concieved words, for

some reason i started to feel dizzy, blood started coming from my eyes, my ears fell off.
I didnt know what was happening, so i began to...

scream:"What is happining!?". Naturally, someone said

"You're screaming, bleeding, you're falling to pieces. Stop it!" in a warm, friendly voice sounding like

a gay swan. the next thing my toes began to grow and grow and grow and...

grow until ten sick zeppelins took to the sky, leaving me upside down as I

thought ...wow my toes are really long, maybe i could use my long toes for...

swimming. That was a really great idea, since

all were dead

ALAAAAAARM! Yelled the

yellow Yeti yawningly,

cause he just wake up from his long deep sleep on his sofa during

the crash of an yellow submarine after the phone rang

with loud quack sounds, so I quickly jumped outta the window and landed on a

n Eliphant with big white ears and small red Onions which he threw at people passing by

who caught them, to cut them in pieces to put them into their delicious meal that was

disgusting like urine

but yet had a refreshing smell. When the Pope came by to taste he said:"

"geeez!!! Ave Maria, gee it's good to see ya." before proseeding with

tasting the onions, but as he was about to sink his teeth into the onion, he spotted a....

Gremlin from the Kremlin who

Gave him one in the balls and then proceeded to beat up random other people when all of a sudden

Obersturmbannführer Grinder stepped in the Room, Heavily armed with a MG42. He Said "It's my Ecspectation to bring you to your Termination" and Fired Long, unaimed salvos into the Room, when the Pope Said...

"Hurry! To the Pope-mobile. It's bullet proof". Little did he know

that Grinder had a Panzerfaust. As the Pope-Mobile started, 2 American Bombers showed up at the Scene, just to be shot down by Cuban Migs, just at the same moment Grinder Loaded the Panzerfaust AND...

somebody accidentally flushed the toilet.

Thus all the tension was gone and everyone was rofl-ing until...

something came out of the toilet pot! It was a green rubber ducky! It happily started to quack:"

baladu for President!" Then...

three clerks, a knight, a lion and a scarecrow, reminded the duck that it was the president, the president of

Kremlin with al the Gremlins

who wantet to kick Georgies Behind.

And the Geordie. And not just any Geordie, but EVERY Geordie. Newcastle-upon-Tyne trembled as

as commander riker came across to bump a thread, when

Captain Picard ordered him so. This, however, made Worf very angry! So angry he decided to go off the ship on the next Starbase

, but due to a slight mis-calculation he went over board next to the starbase, causing him to be sucked into the void with a yelping "worf?" thereby revealing the reason of his name. Everyone

was very sad and wished to have checkov back, since he's not half so stupid then worf. Right this moment a klingon bird of prey showed up and did kicked the enterprise in the balls, but out of nothing...

a remarkably true impersonation of Humphrey Bogart in a chicken outfit doing

The chicken dance and drinking

tequila. The bird of prey exploded and so did the Enterprise. Star Trek didn't exist anymore but Stargate is!

...but a plasma convergence altered history so both continued to exist. Then a bunch of CS 1.6 Gamers begun to flame CSS for good reason, but UBC decided to play both and ditch Fear Combat. Then the l33t krew killed Georgie right the moment....

...Chuck Norris appeared and killed EVERYBODY. He asked: "Did I forget anybody?" Then behind this tree a ninja
showed up.

...But Dave the lumberjack happened to be nearby and cut the tree down, crushing the ninja and saving Chuck. So then...

...Chuck Norris got angry, because he always wanted to defeat a ninja since the ONLY defeat in his career, against Bruce Lee. Dave appolajised, and promised to find him another ninja.Then they...

Held hands, and began to skip down the road singing...

the song "YMCA" followed by "Macho Man" by Village people until they met...

chuck norris... -_-

...untill they met Elthon Jon.
"Oh my sweet lord, what a beaty" - Dave shouted.
Chuck Norris got jeluos because he saw the handsome man first. So, he.....

pulled out his tough guy lipstick, pouted his tough guy lips, and began to

fart

like crazy from the 2 ton 'o beans he eaten, wich pissed Elthon Jon off

Elton John said to Chuck Norris:
"You shouldn`t fart like that in front of other people, I found that realy unpleasant, although I love your lipstick. You remind me a lot of my ex boyfriend Eminem"...

except he didn't wear lipstick. Smelly cat that one... I just can't believe

this crap

the lumberjack had left behind a tree. Oh my, what a pile it was...

...even the flyes around it died

from the poisonous fumes diffusing from Death Caps, now scattered across the skeletal-like remains of the hazardous substance

(heres a lovely picture of one)
http://bio.univet.hu/organ/botany/go...2/aman_ph2.jpg

They all caughed a Taxi and headed towards the white house...

when they arrived, they saw the white house had been painted black :blink:

They shrugged and agreed that it doesn't matter at all and went in

a *meep*in rant about

muck

, ducks, luck, pucks and fever, reaching the supprising conclusion that

all this sucked. They sat on the sofa had a beer and watched football when the phone rang and

rang and rang - but nobody got off the couch to answer, because...

the phones were floating in somekind of abstract undimensional dimension that

didn't really make much sense but managed to exist somehow anyways. The phones picked themselves up and...

decided to give it a go in the extended ring marked, offering spare change wedding rings, knuckle busters and

All of a sudden from out of nowhere a Giant Green Blob appeard, with an angry look on its Blobby face. then without warning the green blob....

Exploded, spreading horrible greenish blobbery around

Which Chuck tasted before exclaiming - "Hey this is really tasty! I'm copyrighting it as "Chuck Slime"..

..."and I shall market it to children everywhere! No more will the babies of the world be free of slime - I will be the Slime King!" ...

And I shall bind the babies to my will, and call them all to me one chosen day, and make hot dog content of them with

glue. And if it's finished i will place it inside a huge gas chamber, so all the hot dog lovers run there and get gassed. But then Mr A. Hitler said he couldn't do that since he copyrighted gas chambers and so chuck had..

to chip a chunk of chicken chew, add a fiery vindaloo, bring it up to a boil and

turn it over while

Tom Waits' piano had another drink while waiting for

Jimi Hendix's old guitar to pop around with

Jethro Tull's flute. Although Tom Waits' piano was excited to meet up with Jimi Hendrix's guitar, he was dreading seeing Jethro Tull's flute again.
Tom Waits' piano poured himself another drink and thought about the huge, ugly fight he had gotten into with Jethro Tull's flute back in '82. They had been fighting over the most amazing woman in the world - Janis Joplin's whiskey bottle. Jethro Tull's flute got the girl in the end, and Tom Waits' piano had never forgiven him for taking Janis Joplin's whiskey bottle away from him, Tom Waits' piano wanted revenge...

Jethro Tulls flute, but eventually his anger faded when he met the real woman of his life, Jessica Albas strings..

However, Jessica Alba's String unexpectedly unravelled one day, causing.....

her to gag on a

loose end finding, rather to it's unpleasant supprise, itself stuck

trapped, confined and terrified inside a...

cosmic dimension unkown

to every man, woman and bottle, even the dimension itself. "Who am I? What am I doing here and where is this story taking me?" the dimension thought as

a crazy dude with mad computer skillz named Mr. Sodamn insane hacked microsoft main server the moment Vista *meep*ed up....

whilst Douglas Adams rolled in his grave, and...

(;))

and started writing a new unholy book, called hick-hackers guide to galaxy of vista..

realizing too late that writing this Most Unholy of Books would give him the bugs, causing him to crash every morning on his way to

finishing the book. So Adams realized that this book is impossible to finish..

so he didn't finish it and sat down. He smoked a *** and started to think about...

all he ever wanted to not finish, like

that time he met a walrus whist out walking on the misty moors...

"I am the walruss, goo goo ga joob" said the walruss politely. "I am the egg-man" said Adams, knowing the correct reply. They shared the secret hand shake, did the secret dance and

eated a worm, called Billy. Then he...

burped, freeing Billy from the boiling pits of Douglas Adams' stomach...

tossing it on the street

where Billy found himself the unexpected leader of a marching band. He got a uniform and a big, flashy hat that everybody else thought looked silly. With a big grin Billy

then he farted :w00t: and...

blew up the whole "Sodoma" plan which was very

similar to the previous, but as it proved, also ill-concieved plan of "Gomorrah". The relieved Gomorrahns and Sodomites decided therefore

all the nuns should be raped, so

so billy the mailman raped santa cause he tough santa was a nun and then santa...

Pulled out his really big hairy..

thumb. Yes, his thumb, and it was big, hairy and singing show-tunes...

thumb. With that thing he pulled the trigger on his Gun, wich killed the mailman. His last words where...

"now...who..will...save the...children.." at which moment he promptly exploded in a pillar of green flame, burning the hell out of

Duke the ice cream car man, then Duke the ice cream car man got angry and...

screamed at the terrified 5-years old standing there, with wide open, trustful eyes (was that a tear in the corner of his eye?), a somewhat insecure smile, shivering chin and a coin his dying aunt gave to him to buy a big, nice lolly, in his hand: "NO! NO! NOOOO! NO BLEEDING LOLLY FOR YOU, YOU WRETCHED.... THING! GET LOST! SCRAM! GO HOME AND PLAY WITH

YOUR...

ENOURMOUS...

FOAMING...

and DROOLING

DJIHAD! And now you gotta...

what the f*** is a Djihad...??? :huh:

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(The Punisher @ Nov 9 2006, 05:14 PM) [snapback]266104[/snapback]</div>Are watching news, dude?! :tai: Or do you have a clue in any way what is going on outside your door? Jeez... <_<

As the Game came to a screeching halt, the boy, the ice cream man, the monsters, they all packed their trunks, got in the ice cream truck and trundled off to

WHAT IS A DJIHAD!!!??? SOMTHING FROM IRAK!!!??? OSAMA'S WIFE??? WTF IS IT???? :huh:

Look up Jihad...

http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=J...amp;x=0&y=0

But before this turns into a bloodbath: A Jihad is mostly an inner struggle for certain principles.

...And right then david understood the full disasterous result of his post: He brought the game to a halt, f****ed up the thread and exposed Punishers not-awareness of Djihad. He hoped the situtation would come back to normal, but...

...normal people don't sit home and watch pr0n on the internet!! Err... That was something different.

So David hoped everything would go back to normal, but people were all confused because of the Jihad thing- and were running around screaming with their hands waving in the air, since...

wha...? isnt this story about somthing else...?? :huh: and then the big fat oversized burger eating truck driver kicked...

The gehenna is near!

ehhh.... rrrrrriiiigggghhhhttttt... well, then a zombie eated...

his English-teacher for being such a nag, hag, slag and a bag. "there's for you being such a Sumatran monkey-rat" he said as

some people wallhacked dod_flash and cs_office by the time david owned away and crazy morons startet getting pwn't roally by him, and

then Commander David pwnd the ultimate pwner, Mighty Midget! Then...

far, far, far away, in the tangled green of a steaming jungle - a gaint Lump Of Cheese mourned the apparent death of the English language and...

far, far, far, far, far, far, far, far, far, far, far, far, far, far, far, far, far, far away a gigantic mouse destroyed tokyo with his....

sort of glowing sabre bought in a galaxy rrrrreeeeeaaaally far away. With a breath of old, pungent cheese, the mouse

bowed deeply to the Mighty Midget and his powers of unification, then she turned her eyes to the glowing city of Kyoto and...

farted...

around waiting for

the...

amazingly huge meal that...

was advertised on huge billboards: FREE FOOD AND WINE at the Master's annual LAST SUPPER! A supper like no other supper. Come and see and BE SEEN WITH the biblical BIGSHOTS. Stuff yourself sick in this Divine Display of Decadency. cc 50.000,- (afterlife included)

Suddenly a taxi...

skidded into view, Robert De Nero stuck his head out of the window and

waved with one hand. "Hey there, it's me!" he said while he drove towards a big tree...

...Rammed it, and killed himself and all passengers of the Taxi. The ambulance came, Rambo stepped outta it and yelled...

"Hatsla'vista baby!! Whops, that is wrong! Im Rambo I dont say anything in the movie!! weee!! I mean *picks up a M-60* RATATATA!!! *shooting on all the pepoles* MUHAHAH!!" then...

Darth Vader is transported from the Enterprise. He sais: "Damn you all! We shouldn't be here!" Suddenly every movie character dissappears.

And suddenly Eminem came from nowhere and sayd "Everbody report to the dance floor!! I gonna make you dance!! Alright, lose it, just lose!! EHEHEH!! EHEHEHEH!!!" and evrebody said "WTF??" then Bin laden said "I gonna kill ya, singar!!" Eminem says...

"geeezlaweeze, it's stalin!" because Stalin just entered the room, in an scary uniform with lots of vodka and a huge communist flag. He was obiviously very drunk, so...

the AA brought out their AAA, and blasted him out of existence with such force the doomed dictator

...Said "i will return from the grave in a few pages! I am AAARG!!" and vanished. Suddenly....

an iraqi dude exploded (no offense!) and alot of gore...

's friends went to Disney Land to audition for

frozen Walt Disney's auction. Al Gore himself managed to buy him. When he opened the freezer (where Walt was)...

he found a gigantic lemon. The other guests gasped and one lady fainted. Al Gore's face gently turned from a soft pink to the colour of a sunburnt tomato. He yelled "WHAT...

THE HELL HAVE QUAYLE DONE NOW?" oblivious to the fact that Quayle

actually was the lemon in question, and had accidentally become frozen during Walt Disneys elaborate return-from-the-dead-and-unfreeze-and-take-over-the-world scheme, which involved...

8 previous ill-concieved plans, a Swedish wrestler, a very dead horror actor, same props to be used at different locations, an infamous director and

some french porn film's. Anyway, Al Gore..

suddenly flipped out and screamed "I don't really believe in all this enviromnmental crap! Rape the whales! Burn the f**kin' forests!" before pulling out two mac-10's and opening fire on the crowd in front of him, killing 8 pensioners, 5 single mothers, 2 nuns, a cripple, and blowing a little boy's **** off. He then laughed continously even while he crapped and pissed himself, and continued to laugh until the police tried to arrest him, at which point he exploded, showering everyone with gore (sorry, I can't avoid the pun). The police laughed and pissed on the remains before going out to roust hookers for free handjobs. Then..

(I'd like to see how anyone is going to continue from there, I imagine pigggy is the only person up to the job)

president Bush arrived via helicopter. He looked at corpse and said: "Damn. This is what we get when we sell games like Postal 2. We must...

we must, we must increase our bust," at which point his head swelled up like a gigantic, pulsating tomato, which the American Public then cut open and fried for a greasy, oversized southern breakfast. The American Public then...

announced that Postal 3 will be a happy-three-hugging-loving-teddy-bear-game. However, the Postal dude (who was fired because he didnt wanted to work on Postal 3)...

was really unhappy with this plan. In fact, he was so incredibly unhappy that his anger and rage boiled up from the pit of his stomach and poisoned his heart. Filled with such vicious anger the Postal Dude climbed to the top of a clock tower with an Uzi in his right hand and a handgun in his left. When he reached the top of the town's clock tower, he looked down below at the now ant-like American Public and...

King Kong, who was climbing the building....

was sooo very happy, because he had finally found the Postal Dude, his sworn enemy - now King Kong could take his revenge on the Postal Dude. You see, many years ago, when they were children, King Kong and the Postal Dude had lived next door to each other. During a humid and sticky afternoon, all those many years ago, the Postal Dude had broken King Kong's heart by...

shooting his mother with a shotgun. Postal Dude ran away, cause he didnt wanted to get arrested. King Kong promised that he would one day find Postal Dude and avenge his mother's dead...

"I'll... I'll... I'll PIXELATE YOU, you esso bee!" he screamed in a mad frenzy, knowing full well he was

afflicted by itchy scrot disease

which was sadly only curable via an injection of Pure Maturity. As Maturity was no-where to be found at this time, he scratched himself continuously and wondered if...

he'd really grow up which he was scared of cause

He already had trouble finding friends due to his size, at which most people would point and yell and run away. This makes big monkeys sad. And King Kong was a VERY sad monkey. And when big monkeys get sad, they get angry. So this was one VERY ANGRY BIG MONKEY. Postal Dude...

began to get very worried - this was one angry monkey! King Kong drew his light sabre out of it's special hiding place and...

wagered out loud: "Hah! I bet you a banana you never saw that coming!". "Well I bet you a rolling barrel you never saw who's behind you!" tested Posal Dude triumphantly as

Godzilla crawled up the building and swiped at Kongs bum. "Ouch", said the very angry big monkey, "Now my bum hurts. Now I'm an EXTREMELY Angry Very Big Monkey!!", and with that the EXTREMELY Angry Very Big Monkey!! lurched forward and began to hurl bananas and barrels and barrels of bananas and bananas of barrels at Godzilla. The lizard...

Caught one of the barrals, as he looked at the barrel, he suddenly realised that the Big angry ape thingy, was throwing beer kegs at him, but what the big angry monkey thingy did'nt realise was, when the lizard drinks beer, it has the same effect on the lizard, as popey has when he eats spinnich! ho doubles in size and gets ten times stronger!! now with a sly lok in the lizards eye and holding the beer he...

yelled you son of a cow I gonna fart on your head, then...

you will fart on my head, and we all will fart happily on each other for the whole week-end, eating tons of beans and cabbages". Postal Dude and King Kong looked at each other profoundly confused and decided to

have a drink and think about all this.

So they drank until they fell over, or in Postal Dude's case, shot 8 people, blew up a church and then fell over. Godzilla got bored and

decided to give Nellie the Elephant a call. Together they packed their trunks, said good-bye to this circus, and off they ran with a trumpety trump... and was never seen again, much to the grief of

Mighty Midget, who was beginning to enjoy writing this story of

love, hate, revenge, betrayal, random joy and pathos. In fact Mr. Mighty Midget was enjoying it so very much that he...

pee'd on the queens breasts...

and when he did that, queen raised his whip and said...

queen raised HIS ..?? well, and started to puke on the kings head while he(?)...

shook his head in revulsion at the dearth of humour that kept spewing forth from a certain scatalogical enabler. Nevertheless, he'd been shoved into this situation so he was just going to have to deal with it - So, grabbing the King's crown, he swung across the room tarzan-style and screamed...

AHAHAHAHAHA!!!

However, he shouldnt have done that. He's scream echoed trought the hallways and caused the whole place to collapse.

He turned red in embarresment. An insureance agent dropped by and

offered him a fairly reasonable policy covering palace collapses and the occurence of blushing. However the policy only covered palace collapses in the event of natural disasters,

"But I AM a natural disaster!" he screamed, and pushed the insurance agent into a....

very small jar with very tiny holes in the lid. With this item, his agents collection would now be complete, if it weren't for

the pesky and elusive Agent Orange. Agent Orange had eluded him for years, but now he had a plan...

All he needed was one of DeLarge McDowell burger wrappings, a working clock, a peeled orange as lure. But alas,

the time has come... (quote from B&W..)

for stalin to return. His soul manifestatet and he said: Do you want some vodka?

Everyone was buffed, but he dissapeared quikly and many communists followed him into the neverending wormhole to.... Russia, where everyone had Vodka for free. Then Fidel got pissed and traveled to Russia too, demanding his free Vodka, wich he got. Then the Stalinator nuked america, but suddenly...

Castro attacked Russian with a giant transformer!

The German command saw everthing and said, I wil zi deztrouy zi americanz idioz! and...

cleverly disguised a batch of sauerkraut as turkey stuffing that would

explode...

But it backfired! Even though it was sauerkraut, and even though it exploded on dental impact - it was clearly a massive improvement on traditional turkey stuffing, which is generally made from twigs, very small pebbles and the souls of dead kittens...

The kittens found a magic orb and they lived again... Yeah!! All live the kittens sayd...

they formed battle formation and swarmed all over Castro and Stalin. Shocked and frightened, Stalin threw down his vodka and...

peed on the zombie cats, now the...

ground went slippery and everyone slipped and fell...

on the kings ... (well...) and everbody broke their neck, then..

it slowly dawned: Death was missing the party! Death missed his cue line! Death was obviously oblivious to the fact that if there was ever going to be an hour of senseless scythe chopping, then this would be it! In short: Death was missing!

His underpants of Death! just one sniff, and the unlucky victim would die a slow smelly Death,

all of a sudden he rememberd...

what his mother once told him: "Killing is wrong, no matter the frame you put on it". He realized that it was so, and went to become a pro-life extremist

Farting on anybody he saw...

which is a tried and tested Pro-Life protest technique. His new mortal enemies (The Anti-Abortionites) preferred to burp instead of farting. This distinct philophical difference seperated the two groups fundamentally.

Death was getting cranky, because...

he couldnt find his lucky coin...

in his unhappy wallet. This was unfortunate, because he was standing in front of a fruit machine, watching those cherries rolling by, and

the hypnotic, rythmic rolling of the cherries was making him sleepy... "Must...Stop...The...Fruit..." Death whispered to himslef as his eyelids slowly...

crawled down on his empty sockets, ambushing whatever sight he possessed, sang him a lullaby, read him a bedside story, tucked him in and turned off the light. Now, if it hadn't been for that 5 gallon cup of coffee he just had, he'd be

all snuggled up, clutching his eyelids to his chest like a fleshy teddy-bear and dreaming a glorious dream. Sadly, the 5 gallons of coffee had turned Death into a shivering, twitching, clanking pile of bones that couldn't sleep even if his life depended on it (which of course it didn't, because he was death after all.)

Death sighed and dragged his bones out of his bed, hitting his skull on the top bunk-bed as he did so,

"Y'know what?" said death to his eyelids, "why do I sleep on the lower half of a bunk-bed?"

His eyelids didn't answer - but they knew the truth which was...

frightening...

The Death moaned:"Man! I'm older as time, I'm doing a job 24/7, this all is really exhausting!!!"

"You call that exhausting?! Why you twerp pile of Osteoporosis! If you knew how to controll that bladder of yours, then yeah, you could sleep up here. But guess what, I'm bleedin sick of having to watch out for acid rain and you dropping your toy scythe everytime you fall asleep!" said a red-faced Reincarnation from the top bunk, throwing a

book at Death's head. Death picked up the book and read the title - "7 Habits Of Highly Effective People."

"What makes you so effective?!" screamed Death at the red-faced Reincarnation. His cranky room-mate replied...

"well, for starters I don't go around pegging out my customers, then I mind my looks see? Honestly, people shut their doors in your face, don't they? I mean, c'mon. At least you could do something about that old, moldy robe of yours! Gah, you look like an undertaker for Pete's sake, not that Pete means anything to me, it's just an expression. An undertaker! Just what most people would love to have stomping around in their house. Seriously Death, you really need to read your basic public relations"

Then a cow walked in and said "Were's my beaf?" Death said "w00t?"...

trying in vain to hide a meaty lump that was stuck between his front teeth. This was ridiculous, since the lack of lips and fleshy palms doomed every attempts to pretend to be innocent. The cow blew her horns and

... then the long awaitet U-Boat doode came by again, singing "In teh l33t navy rofl" and pwning noobs as usual, but then...

he got raped by a monkey!

The offspring, the dreaded Sumatran U-boat Commanding Monkey, set sail or, as the case may be, electric engines, for a secret island deep in the Caribbean ocean where

...it's warm and cozy and there's bananas.... Lots of bananas...

and the Donkey Kong had the biggest banana. It was bulging from his....

...shirt pocket, which is he usually kept his bananas. He then pulled it out and proceeded to...

...a nearby large rock, with one goal in mind - to...

DESTROY AND KILL....

...the poor banana, after which...

...he proceeded to beat the large rock to death with the fruit. He then...

...scratched his axle and pondered...

...the meaning of life, which to him, somehow involved bananas. Baffled by this, he then sought out...

The Guru. The Guru was a strange bent little specimen of a man, who hung out in dank, dark, filthy caves and ate mongoose. However, his skull was filled with the most rapturous enlightenment which folk came from far and wide to try to emulate.

Unfortunately, today The Guru was...

sick, so teh 1337 Donk3y K0nG killed himself with a huge...

...club, only to be resurrected by The Guru who spotted the nonsense and had to...

shout at Donkey Kong that he was a big bad gorilla who really should behave!
Donkey Kong saw that the Guru was right, but couldn't help crying.
Now the Guru saw DK was sorry for the nonsense, petted DK's head and said...

"you big, silly, hairy ape you" in a playful voice that made DK

pee on sombody, while he...

...wondered why he is actually called Donkey Kong and not Monkey Kong...

before remembering that he was in fact, due to the bad word filter in this forum, a donkeyhole, which completly failed to explain the o in Kong.

which was actually pretty normal behaviour for O, who liked to infiltrate random words just to annoy people and bring chaos to a generally well behaved alphabet. In fact, O was such an obnoxious little letter that it had planned to...

...implant itself to every existing word, thus eliminating the opposition and the necessity of complex words...

O never figured out the meaning of anyway. Obvoooslo thos hos ot's drowbocks, but drawback was not a word O would be associated with, so

...the Kong of the Donkeys saw the O running around, deep in thoughts, and ate it...

The Kong of the Donkeys chewed thoughtfully on the O for a while, swallowed, then let out a thunderous,

"OOOOOooooOOOOOH!"

The O was was definitely a nourishing meal, much more fulfilling than that time he had eaten a...

P, which was downright disgusting, and a B that stung his gum. No more T time either. Ever. Now that the Donkiest of Kongs had found his O...

.. on the floor, because he puked it out again. With disgust, he cut his throat with a...

...sharp, thin needle because he thought he would be looking cool that way. However, it hurt more than he imagined...

and granted, any monkey able to figure that a needle slit throat would look cool, has a HUUUUUGE imagination. "That's it, from now on I'm Dinkey King!" he roared silently through his dysfunctional throat and

...disappeared into the jungle to let the time pass and cure his aching throat. Meanwhile, the dark archmage Arcandor invented another silly and pointless plan to destroy the entire universe...

and he failed and now he is dead in prision with his 3D version of tetris!! DAMN YOU!!! said the milkman but then...

he spotted the 3D Tetris, glowing ominously in the dark beside the very dead and very soulless Arcandor. The milkman nervously picked up the Tetris. A bell rang solemnly 12 times, a gust of chilling wind brushed his sweaty hands, a wolf cried, an owl wept, the calendar decided it was Friday the 13th, even though it was in fact Tuesday the 5th, a bat swept past him, an old wooden door was having an arguement with the hinges and two little kids dressed up as witches intoned: "Trick or treat?".

After that Freddy Krüger appeared and tore the two children apart. As of the milkman, he already was busily working with Tetris 3D so Freddy decided to leave him alone... for now...

which was probably a very stupid thing to do, because everybody knows that Tetris playing milkmen will always come back at the worst moment possible and ruin your plans, particularly if your plans include entering the dreams of school children and murdering them in ridiculously complicated (yet cinematically pleasing) ways.

But of course, Freddy Krueger forgot this because he was much more interested in the...

manicure kit he had by trading in his pedicure kit after realizing that trimmed toe nails wasn't gonna do the trick at all when terrorizing trembling teens. "Good heavens! A hammered nail" he observed out loud while

he talked to a car dealer on the phone. "1.000.000 dollars.."-Car Dealer "Okay, I'll pay when I get the car!"-Freddy "What? No, you gotta pay me now.."-Car Dealer "Today?"-Freddy "DUH!!"-Car Dealer *sigh* "Sir, I may be an idiot, but there is one thing I'm not, and that sir. Is an idiot."-Freddy then the car dealer said...

..."1, 2, Freddy comes for you"...

which confused Freddy speechless: "B-b-b-bu-bu-b-but-but-but-bu..." he spluttered as

...the sun disappeared and darkness fell upon the world...

A small man in a shiny uniform and a golden top hat appeared in the spotlight and bid the crowd to be silent with an obscene gesture. A snare drum sneered at him, the PA system let out a short, shocking scream, and the man whispered into his microphone:

"all americans will die soon!"

At a table in the corner, a group of ex-Cubans looked at each other nervously and greatly disappointed. At another table nearby an old-timer in a wheelchair, deaf as a doughnut, applauded wildly, and in a dark corner at the opposite side a voice said "Yes, Greedo; I was just coming to see your boss. Tell Jabba I have his money, at last"...

...In the meanwhile some Stormtroopers were searching through the town for some fled enemies of the empire, while Freddy Krueger struggled to figure out why he suddenly landed in a 30 years old movie where nobody ever heard something of him yet...

"Director's Son's Cut" was the obvious answer that noone bothered to contemplate. Instead the jawas, the wookies, Liza Minelli's storm-troupers, one high-flying fellow who was too short for a stormtrooper, an oddball named Han Ford Prefect, E.T., the Alien, the Predator, It, a rowdy bunch of Killer Clowns and the Brain from the planet Arouse got in a GTA TIE convertible and puffed off to

...fight the evil Vogons at the next intersection of the Galaxy...

Meanwhile, deep below Dinky Island...

the Dread Pirate Le Chuck stroked his beard luxuriously and repeated his mantra over and over to himself,

"I am beautiful, I am worthy, I am beautiful, I am worthy..."

However, no-matter how often he told himself this, and no-matter how many times he lit jasmine scented candles and soaked in a hot bath whilst meditating - it just wasn't working.

The gnawing teeth of self-doubt were nibbling at his very being, because...

... the gracile and beautiful Asian princess avoided him at all costs, causing him to feel bitter and stupid...

pretty much like a pretty stupid bitter almond. Not even did he have any idea of where Asia was, living his whole life in the Caribbean. Things were looking grim indeed for this ghastly, ghostly green gob of goo. But suddenly

...the bear awoke and yawned. It was a sunny, quiet morning...

the butterflies were swarming, the flies were in the butter, the sun pressed the snooze button, four kids were walking through the dewy grass on the misty moors with a key ring their uncle forgot when he went to stay with a bunch of fairies, Bliss was ignorant as always, Keith Moon looked down on everybody, a bird was singing in the shower and Night went to bed. In short. It was a newly born day.

On the neighbour's lawn the lawnmower went crazy and ate a mouse together with the cat who was hunting it. Unaware of the gruesome event, the bear yawned again and decided to go to a shop...

but then Bill Gates came in a porsche, Freddy got angry and eated Bill Gates (I never seen the movie(s) of Freddy so I dont know what he does...) and then he eated the porsche because everybody hates porsche...
ITS A NAZI CAR!!! and then...

a fleeing Vogon ship roared by cropping Freddy's hat. Freddy dived, got up and got hit in the back of his head by a GTA TIE convertible. "This is a nightmare!" he sighed before

...putting his hat on - "But not my", after which he disappeared in his own, personal hell...

that he buyed at Ebay. But he should have know that....

...the Cenobites already occupied his hell, and didn't have no place for poor Freddy anymore, nor willing to offer some...

coffee. A real pinhead tried to offer Freddy a pair of velvet gloves, but the other Cenobites


(btw; Pinhead is the coolest badass in movie history. I used to love the Hellraiser movies. Haven't seen any of them in ages though. Beside, I have this thing for Clive Barker. He is one demented mother :kosta: )

asked why did they first (re)make the movie second part of a certain 7 part book series first, as the first book involved abusing the fact you had a fairy grandmother, sending guinea pigs to other dimensions with magic rings, saving lives with a magic apple and explains where the second book's villain, magic cabinet and misplaced streetlight came from.

the being controlling this reality decided that was quite enough of that and dropped a giant foot on everything

(I am going to regret this... <_< )

that lived. It crushed the globe, the next one and the previous. Weeping children were

crying loud: "For crying out loud! What are you doing?" before

they eated their dinner but then their mother sayd...

..."You eat too much, now you'll be sacrificed to Leviathan". The children objected though...

and they ran away to another planet called...

Jenny. Now, Jenny was, and probably still is

a big fat @ss3d b1t(h... (no offense to all the Jennys out there)

However, De La Soul were quite found of Jenny. Nevertheless, Jenny was a naughty, ill-behaved planet, because it liked to...

spew out tons of brown stinking Lava from it's mountains. That reminded everyone of...

...cleaning their teeth every morning, not last to keep the bad breath away that Jenny had...

after eating too much pungent cheese.

The milkman returns!! ZOMFG, the revenge is sweet he said...

...and after he took a bow at Jenny and apologized for the need to leave, he rushed off to take his revenge on...

Mighty Midget... He got a master plan!! And that was...

to seek out Billy the Mountain, and his wife Ethel. Ehtel was a tree gowing off of his shoulder, and

...had a dwarven son named Eckel, sitting on her shoulder...

and he had two pets: Heckler & Koch, sitting on his lap. With Billy, Ethel, Eckel, Heckler & Koch...

Then Harry, Smith and Wesson came to the party Harry said...

as three stooges crashed through the door. "Now we are eight, but we'll need one more to face the nine", said Eckel, "I wonder who that could be?"

Someone proposed the blind donkey, and everyone suddenly was silent, as...

Harry took up his 44. magnum and aimed at...

the stars. "Shooting stars," Harry yapped, "hurry, make your wishes before I'm out of ammo".

"I think thats a bad idea, sir.."-dude
"Whats that? Your messing with me? But this is a 44.magnum the most powerful hand gun in the world, it can blow your head clean off.. Now you can ask yourself a question, do you feel lucky? Well, do you punk!?"-Harry
"Sir, Im not sure what you are talking about!"-dude
"Go ahead make my day..."-Harry
"What? With all respect sir, you got weird ideas!!"-dude
"You know, opinons are like a55h0les, everyone got one.."-Harry
"Sir, please dont talk like that here.."-dude
*Will Smith comes in*
"What the f**k is wrong with ya harry??"-Will
"Shut up, Will!"-Harry
"No man, you shut the f**k up!!"-Will
*click*
*clack*
*boom!*
"Ahhh!! Harry why the f**k did you do that!?!?!"-Will
"I warned you... Punk!"-Harry
"Damn, man..."-Will

But then...

someone shouted "FIRE AT WILL!" and

Harry shot the dude in the head... Poor guy, his head exploded, Will saw everything so he..

...farted very loud, everyone got a panic attack...

(Dont let this good topic die!!)

and the smell of the fart was so bad that the 44.magnam melted. Then . . .

Will sayd "LETS GET THIS PARTY START'N!!!" and everyone started partying...

... they all pulled dices and pen & paper out.

everyone started farting. LOL (I'm really bored...)

because they where shocked that a user named "GAME-CRACK" vanished into the endless void of inactive users. Then...

they ended the game I never liked! :bleh:

After they ended the game, they did... :bleh: :sneaky:

(Pwnd :D)