I need your opinions on this.
 

Well, I have been the prime target of school bullying for almost 3 years now. And along the way I just learned something...



I can't stop the bullying. :noworry:



So I took it positively and decided to accept and smile at it. So the next time I get bullied I just tell myself "It's just the usual, nothing to get angry about :amused:" and laugh about it. And it brings good news... It's working! I don't get sulky because of bullying. I'm not getting into those bursts of fury I had before. :thumbs: However if I say I accept my being bullied it doesn't mean I give up on hoping it would stop. :)



Which equals to... Happier life. :nuts:


Now, I ask you this: Do you think I should continue doing this or should I look for a solution to stop the bullying? Your thoughts are appreciated K THX. :p

That's a step forward :OK:
This is positive, I think you could find many friends with a big smile in your face, work on the things you like, on your interests, share opinions with other, be funny and be yourself ;)

*Removed*

OMFG Gregor that's exactly what I wanted to write. :P

So it's either that, or wait until college.

Yea, or grow a pair, start training boxing or sth...

Find a solution to stop, certainly.
That doesn't mean you have to stop it with your own hands, of course.

Bullying stops eventually.


And it stops quicker with these
[Snip]

They are great.


And tell a school counselor about it. These things can be fixed. Most schools have a very strict Anti-bullying policy.

punch999, that does not apply to most schools I've seen.

I'd say you're on the right path, but I'd definitely do more than just take it easy. I was bullied when I was younger, and I got through with a big smile and a sense of humour. That, and I kneeled a huge guy in the nuts for insulting my mother. He respected me after that, and we're pretty much buddies now.

That fact led me to realize something: Most of the people that bullied me back then are my friends now. It's quite simple, really. You take a few decent kids with no friends, put them in a room together, then you put one puny little weakling in the middle. Those decent kids know exactly what they have to do to get the other decent kids to respect them: pick on the little guy.

I was the little guy, and these people were only human. After a year, they'd all gotten to know each other and everyone got along just fine. No bullying necessary anymore, people knew how much you were worth.

In your case, it might not be over after just a year, but keep in mind that all these bullies are doing is trying to hide their own insecurity and get the respect they so deeply desire.

how are you being "bullied"?

i think you mis-expressed yourself and you mean calling names or whatever, which is common, and not actual beating or serious stuff, or do you?

So saying "kick him in the nuts" is illegal on abandonia? Wow. I think that's even allowed on Disney's kid shows.

*^_^ Titan's kind of strict about the rules, you know.

to me it seems like he's only coming to forums, beating off the steam gained in real life with banning/deleting something/feeling important, going away again

O my,i remember wen they kick my --- all the time,only because they were bigger and older than me,no wait...they still kick my --- because they are much stronger and older :(
Y think than david is right,you need to bully other people for feel you good,you can make friends :)!!
My only friend is and the garbage can,when,is the place when they trow me,some day i will had my revange :boxing:

Tulac: So, if i was to encurage someone to beat you up, you wouldn't think that was inaproriate?

Trying to solve a problem with a bully, by kicking them in the nuts, will only escalate the problem. I know if someone kicked me in the nuts as "revenge" I wouldn't stop until someone draged me away from the body of the "offender".
That's why giving outright stupid tips to a guy with a verry real and serrious problem (been there myself, from grade 2 to 9), is almost up there with a pure spam-post.

_r.u.s.s.: You don't know me, so you can make any assumption you like, but please; Show me when i last banned anyone in the forum. Last post i deleted was TFHs, and finaly: I have much better ways i let of my steam after a rough day (something you should try also perhaps, if you are into that sort of things) that has gone banan; Having a good time with the girlfriend.

hahajejeje: Usualy the "tough" guys are the once that fail later in life, ending up unemployed and poor. See it that way.

i didn't mean literally, i meant things like these for blowing off steam, that's why i wrote / / /. and yes i believe you have better ways to blow off steam too

by the way you can't be serious that you misunderstood tulac's obvious joke o_O

hey Titan,may i have a question to you (whitot sarcasm)
¿Did you ever bein bullied,y mind,Kick you 4 hours,with bruces and blood on your arms?no?no? seemed so.And yes you are right i see it like you said
Besides,y dont care if they are gonna be poor unemployed or whatever,y just wanna feel him the same pain that y :amused:

hahajejeje: Yes, some physical abuse involved, but not that bad no.
If that's what YOU are exposed to, you have to go to the police or atleast the school.
I beefed up quite a bit the last few years, and by the 8:th grade, the physical part stopped.
But I ***NEVER*** responded to physical abuse with physical reaction, but rather used other ways, as involving teachers, parents and school staff.
However, once in the 9:th grade I was jumped by 2 guys in a hallway.
That is the only time i lost it.
The parts i remember involving having each one by the neck under each of my arms, running them full spead into a brick wall and then remoddeling the location of the nose, on the one guy who was standing after the wall-part.

These two where not involved in the "bullying" but was rather something they had against me on another issue.

The way you can fight back, is by beeing better then they are.
first rule is to NEVER kick someone who has been beaten to the floor.... never... Have that sence of honor.
But the golden rule is ALWAYS; Walk away... just ignore and walk away. Say nothing.. don't look at them.. just ignore.
After a while, they loose intrest as they don't get any responce.

Yes maybe you are right Titan like always :)

Bullying never stops.

When I moved from secondary school to CEGEP, I thought people would be way more mature... Hell no.

I went to an adult school once, to learn a trade. I expected those adults to behave like adults... Hell no!

School is the kingdom of bullies. It will probably never change.

The only way around it is to either accept or work(ignore) around it, or to be the one bulying the others. Trying to find ways to stop it yourself is only going to get you into trouble on every side.

I speak from experience.

Have the last laugh!

Now to answer...

Thanks Dave. That may just be the key to having a better high school life.

Gregor and Tulac: Thanks for the kicking suggestion, but no thanks :p

Hmmm... What solution do you have in mind Fifth? :)

I know it will stop... eventually... LOL
Our school has that strict policy but nobody follows it here, I'm afraid.

That's well-said. What do I do more than just taking it easy?
I second your opinion on bullies :D

Mis-expression. I accidentally hit myself on the head with a book and the rest is a sad history. Now I get picked on, called names, disrespected, teased. Very common.

I feel your pain. I'm quite the skinny one, too. But I don't think bullying other people is necessary. :amused:

Quoted for Truth. :D

Whoa. Really? What happened in your experience?

Quoted for more Truth. :nuts:

WTF? Immaturity in adults? You are right on school being the bully's kingdom... I'm currently going with accepting it and ignoring it... :)

Manipulating someone else to do what you want while thinking they are acting in their own interest.

Failing that, revenge can also be an option if you need it to feel better. Slow-acting laxatives, for example. :D

and are you sure it's not your own fault? by what you usually say in chatbox you are well.. kind of self-attention seeking

It is my fault for having done such a silly thing... Though I admit I did not expect to get that much of a reception after just hitting myself with a book on the head. I just expected "Oh well, this will be forgotten soon..." but it didn't happen.

Self-attention seeking? *ponders* Yep. I am like that. Maybe it's because I have a few friends who actually understand my situation.

Well uhm wait out a week or two, kids will forget it.

I've been waiting for almost 3 years for it to stop...

Bullies are much more likely to opress you when they see that it really does bother you. Act or learn to shrug it off like if it was a childish thing to do and that it doesn't bother you at all and they will most likely stop faster than any other way.

Thing is, if they stop bothering you then they'll simply pick a funnier/easier target. Such is the life of a bully... There is hardly any hope for them.

I agree with EoF, and besides, you're better than them Ian so there's no need to bring yourself down to their level by reacting.

"The best revenge is living well" :)

My experience with bullying:

- ignoring doesn't always work. I tried that and it never stopped. And ignoring physical harm is not that easy. When you're the easiest target, they'll bully you whether you visually let it bother you or not and since we aren't machines, it's not as easy as you make it sound. When you find your lunch thrown all over the school yard or when they steal expensive stuff of yours - can you just go "ah they can keep it"? Of course not.

- it won't stop until you no longer seem like the underdog. Behaving differently can get them off your back but even then, some people are picked for the way they look so for them it's harder since they can't change their looks

I got the bullying to stop when I suddenly put my foot down and said "enough is enough". I dragged one of the guys who tried to kick me around the school yard until there was a hole the size of my fist in his jeans. Everyone watched, everyone laughed at the bully. Guess what? After that NO-ONE bullied me anymore.

So to say striking back won't solve it - that's not true. It may not work in all situations but you have to show make a show of strength. You can't be considered a weakling if you don't behave like one.

That's what I meant by "becoming a bully yourself" Red_Avatar.

It will work, but it's up to Ian to decide. I'd never do something like that if it was up to me.

:boxing:Ian Freddie..Bullying has been going on since we lived in caves and fought each other for our share of the hunt..It is cowardly,low and mean..No one should have to put up with it..If your teachers counsellors etc can't or won't help..then you will have to start thinking about ways to stop it..Perhaps you might be able to use some of these suggestions..

1.Stop acting like a victim...you have as much right to be here as they do

2.Take some Karate or boxing lessons..NOT because you want to use it to hurt anyone, but because it will give you confidence to stand up to your tormentors..Most reputable Karate instructors forbid the use of Karate techniques outside the Dojo..

3. When my brother was being bullied at school my dad gave him boxing lessons and then invited the worst of the bullies to come to the gym and "have a go" Needless to say he didn't turn up. My brother didn't get picked on again. He never raised a hand to anyone but the creeps that were picking on him were scared !@#less that he might give them a good hiding.

4. Our 3 sons all took Karate lessons from their dad who is an 8th Dan Black Belt. They NEVER used Karate outside the Dojo. They didn't have to because the training made them feel confident that they could handle bullies..My eldest son went to a party when he was 18 and was "bad mouthed" by a drunken lout who drew a knife and threatened to stab him. My son managed to talk him out of it and take the knife away..I have the newspaper clipping about this still..We believe his training helped to turn what could have been a tragedy into a victory for him..

5. Where are your parents in all of this? You certainly don't want them holding your hand 24/7 but you need to talk NOW

6. By the way I think what the 5th Horseman has said rocks...The laxative part is very appealing..Only do it if you feel the need to.By the way most bullies are not too well endowed in the brain department so what 5th says about manipulating them should give you a lot of satifaction..Good Luck

Hmmm... I'd bulk up first before doing anything that involves fists.

I don't think they sell laxatives in the Philippines. Or it's just not obvious.

See you haven't understood..No bulking up needed...No fists needed..just a change in attitude..Think about it..You don't have to be "the hulk" just smarter than the morons who are hassling you.. and by the way they sell anything and everything in the Phillipines

You really don't need to work out or anything, I never did anything that required physical strength and I still got out of school alive (I'm still in school, but yeah). Most often, what helps is a single dramatic act, preferably one that is very embarrassing to somebody who bullies you a lot. This could be something like the groin kick I went with or that Karate invitation thing somebody else mentioned, even the laxative strategy (which I would consider cheating, though) might work.
If everything fails, humor is still the easiest thing. If people insult you, and you think of a great and funny comeback that embarrasses but does not enrage, they will be impressed.

And one more thing: Walking away doesn't work. I've spent 12 years in 4 schools, and I can swear on my life that walking away is useless. In most cases, it makes things even worse because it shows weakness. The thing to do is to stand up to your bullies, and without provoking physical violence.

I know I haven't been on the forum for long, and I don't know you at all. But here goes anyways. :)
I was bullied as well when I was a kid as appearently many others here. :amused:
I would definitly second the Karate idea, revenge is so unsatisfying anyway. And besides that (as mentioned by Sal) if you haven't done it already; talk your parents about it.
Don't underestimate the help they might be able to give you. And if there's nobody else to talk to, it's really just helps to talk about it.

It ended for me after the first nine years of school, because I met people who liked me as I was. So stay yourself (yes it a cliché, but it's true).
Seems a lot of people like you in here, so there should be nothing wrong with that. :)

And don't worry. Karma's gonna get them all one day. :sneaky:

Sal, I misunderstood the fist part. :p

Oh, really? I'm a Filipino and I don't know that LOL

I told my dad this and he told me "Don't mind them", didn't work. Told me to elbow them in the face and not mind getting punished by the disciplinarian. Didn't do it... Didn't have to.

So in other words, outwit/outbully the bully? Hmmm...

Who do I look for to talk to then?

Yeah. I think my new friends will accept me for who I am. A sad fact I see in some Filipinos are that they judge only the outside of their fellow countrymen.

I can't argue with a lot of people liking me. :p

Outwit, outsmart, outeverything, but not outbully. You want to get respect, not more hatred. Shock and Awe is what you're shooting for.

I disagree
 

I apparently like many of the nerds here, was picked on alot in school as well. In the 10th grade I was 4foot 8 and weighed 90 pounds. I got physically and emotionally abused constantly I tried all the stuff yall have mentioned.
Tell an authority figure.......No that just gets you marked as a Narc (tattler) and increases the abuse.
Take it.....They will never stop. Statistics show that over 65% of bullies end up serving time for violent crimes as juveniles and/or adults. They never stop... Never If you turn the other cheek they hit that one as well.
Outsmart them. Can work if you are mean enough. Ususally they just hit you harder for using words they dont understand.

fight them. I found this to reduce the abuse the best. Sorry to all you peacenicks, but it dont apply here. Children can be the most vicious and spiteful creatures on Earth. Even if you LOSE you still gain respect. You must stand up to the bullies. As I usta say even if I lose They are gonna know I was there. I didnt fight fair either. I kicked, bit, poked, anything I could do to cause PAIN to them. I lost more than I won but I earned respect from the bullies. Once they learned I would always stand up for myself they found easier prey to pick on. Its no fun to pick on someone that fights back.

Learn how to insult people. Later in my years I was able to reduce some bullies to tears, simply by finding out about their home life (which is usually bad) and then using the facts I found in public insults. The truth hurts quite a bit.
There was this one guy in the mid 80's who just would not stop, he was huge and dumb. So I had a friend find me a bag of MJ and I planted it in his locker and called the cops. Short story he was charged as an adult and served 3-5 in the state Pen. Never bothered me again.

I do not allow anyone to pour abuse on myself or those I love. I would rather get beat up while standing up for myself than get beat up while running.

Last thing if you are not as mean as me or are a pacifist.
ACT CRAZY. I mean twitchy, anxious, talk to imaginary friends, ETC...
Bullies leave crazy people alone because they are scared of the Crazy.

You have alot of differing opinions here, including mine, The reality is what worked for us may not work for you. But Fact is Fact A Bully will bully you until he thinks its not fun or not worth it. You need to cause that feeling somehow in your tormenters. But as Kenny Rogers said in the song "coward of the county" Sometimes you do have to fight to be a man.

Good luck and we are with you in spirit.

PS. Find someone really big and make friends with them. They are great at keeping bullies away.

Well, for me, because I'm a tall, skinny bugger, no-one bothers with even trying physical violence, and for the rest of it a couple of quick, slick comebacks are all that's required. If not, that's when my fist tends to collide with their face at high speed.

I'm afraid it's kinda true. The direct solution is confrontation. And the indirect solution is... No there is no other solution AFAIK, :/ please feel free to share if you find it.

Remember what Sarge and others said. You don't need to win any fight, just make them look for easier prey. :/ There needn't be a physical fight, the confrontation needn't escalate. It depends on both your skill and the bully's aggresiveness. (If you've had to endure him you must know whether he's just a rat who likes to abuse, most likely--or a total psycho and potential future criminal.)

I'm afraid the first evil is the education system. Kids are confined without possibility of choosing their company, as if they did something wrong and were sent to jail. All in the name of equality and enlightment? The results speak for themselves. The road to Hell is paved with good intentions. Often even parents can't do a thing, no matter how nasty things get for their child.

And if they choose their company (or more likely their parents) that would lead to an even more harming social stratification when they grow up. And this way you can at least adapt to life, it's better to endure bullies as a kid and learn to handle them than to meet them for the first time when you grow up. Then it's too late.

Oh no I should have known I'd take the topic off astray. *^_^ Now others pls continue counseling Ian. :D

I don't see anything wrong, it's been five pages of the topic already and everybody started repeating each other. Topics should be like natural conversation, they should have their natural flow, constraints are bad. :)

If you say so Mr. Mod. :D http://www.abandonia.com/vbullet/ima...ons/icon14.gif Anyways there was really nothing else I wanted to say...


**** GOVMNT!!
:p