Does anyone here actually understand girls?
 

...I'm just a tad bit confused right now.

So, I was telling this chick how I've felt for the last 4+ years. She tried to be nice about the whole rejection, not giving me a straight answer. I told her to be honest about it, so I knew exactly were I standed, and she said it's never gonna happen.

I got what I asked for. Everything was fine, yeah. I actually felt better knowing how it was like. But then, a bit after, came something odd... She started mentioning this dog of hers, then told me he had died sometime ago, being all :'< So... what the hell? She's looking for compassion not long after denying me? I mean, come on. Yes, I asked her to be honest, but what's with that crap?! It's not like she was the one who got denied and perhaps needed someone there to feel sorry for her.


I just don't get it.


...Oh, and as I never actually see her anymore, it was done through emails/chatting on an IM... pathetic as that probably sounds. Irrelevant, either way!

maybe you started acting more cold towards her and then she felt that she missed how you two were friends, so she brought this dog story up to get pitied?

I understand women as much as I can understand what russ wrote. Though at least russ can edit his post and put a few ,,,'s.

damn you're right, must have been on drugs while typing the message

women are as easy to understand as some ancient message written in marsian on the dark side of the moon.

thats what i understand about them from 2 relationships.

women, weird creatures.

Friend, whatever you decide to do, never ever ask for suggestions on an internet message board (at least not on one dedicated to gaming). Yet, at first sight, there might be some good advices yet they may be good only in certain situations with certain people. You ain't gonna find the solution here (if you wanna check how this might end, go to the Bethseda Softworks forums and check how similiar threads ended in there, I still remember some hilarious quotes from there :D ).

I'll go for the cliché on this one, just be yourself. We're (or whoever else) not going to live your life or make your decisions. :P

Do not listen to them. Girls are evil creatures, feeding on your attention, and manipulating with you.
You'd be better off liking shemales and trannies

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Stop pretending lulu, you are a man.

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So true Lulu!

NOOO DONNNNT!!!

WHY on Earth?!!

OMG it's late is it :(

-.-- --- ..- .-. / .... --- .-. ... . / .. ... / .- / -.. .. .-. - -.-- / .--- . .- .-.. --- ..- ... / ... .--. -.-- .-.-.- / and Tulac is a girl.

Well, I am really not so sure of myself, to give gender advice, but I can say one thing; 22 years of marriage with my one and only, best friend for life, has taught me, women are always right. Here's to another 22!:cheers:

I have ADHD. I'm impuslive as fuck. But yeah, it was 7 in the morning when I sent her an email telling her how I felt (and I hadn't slept, either). But yeah, I regret it like hell. If I didn't do that, I could work towards my goal by talking to her for a few days, then ask her out to the movies or something. But nooo, gotta be impuslive.

Also, I wasn't asking anyone to tell me what to do, only if they could comprehend the weird way she acted, because I can't.

I was being nice after she denied me, BTW.

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01101111 01101011 01100001 01111001 00100000

Maybe - i know nothing of what i speak, im not even wearing my pants - but maybe she dosn't care about YOU, but care about you as a source of harvesting positive attention and 'i-am-loved'boosts, and time killing.

I think i meant that she cares about you as long as you pets her attentionclitoris. Or maybe, maybe she loves you, but can't love you becuse shes deformed, deformed down there, shes bad BAD FOR YOU. im going to bed

I say, vote for me, and girls shall be exterminated, all of them exept Tulac

Lmao

1) Girls your age don't know what they want when it comes around stable and normal love relationship. You should not take it too seriously. If she really don't want you then just look somewhere else. She might change her oppinion of you and change her whole decision on a whim later on (might be years). Women are strange like that. Simply continue to be kind to her, all the time.

When you'll begin to date girls of around 21 years, you'll notice that it's getting easier and easier to get to them because their "biological clock" is working "against" them. Most of the reason behind all this is hormonal.

2) Girls get affected way more than men about long term relations. Friendly or otherwise. Losing a close friend, or even a loved old pet, can turn them into extreme emotional states...

Again, no big deal. If you like the girl then just help her recover, you'll score point with her on several levels. And that's also the right thing to do...

"Women are meant to be loved, not to be understood." - Oscar Wilde

And I'd say the wisest response so far has been from ... Kugerfang.

Stranger things have happened. And if I ever understand men and their curious lack of emotion, I shall write a book and win a nobel peace prize. :p

That's because women don't like emotional men. :hammer:

She's looking for compassion... after seemingly denying you.
Women are fickle creatures. It may be a test.

roffle @ this one

arete: your fault that you get in touch with me with lack of emotions

yeah, but he also said, "A man can be happy with any woman so long as he doesn't love her." Mixed messages I think.

So basically he said only one person can be happy in a relationship.

Note: To actually understand a human being you need to physically see it. Email/IM --> useless

how can you take this guy seriously
http://farm1.static.flickr.com/61/16...ea6c17355d.jpg

@TotalAnarchy: FALSE

Oh really?

yes really

Ok genius. Try to describe in writing the next situation without loosing anything from the impression that the picture gives to me or anyone else. That means when I'm reading your description, I should understand and imagine the picture in its entirety and exactly as it is (including emotions, facial characteristics, landscape, position of the eyes, etc, etc)

http://www.fpp.co.uk/Hitler/images/c...Bernile_1a.jpg

i don't know you yet so i can't tell what feelings does it invoke inside you. and what the hell? you don't make any sense. you can't even tell that in real life neither unless you've spent about 50 ages with teh person

I even asked "oh really?" just to make sure you actually believed what you said. Turns out it's not "yes really"...

how does it change anything, i'm pretty sure about what i said

Only 7% of communication is communicated verbally, non verbal communication makes 93% of human interaction. http://failureagainstgamers.ipbfree..../emo-facts.gif

that belongs to the real life communication, there are different rules in online communication
different rules in the way of "speaking" as well

wtf is happening here

To be fair, Oscar Wilde was gay, so.....

A good reply!

I suppose you're right. However, I have a hard time seeing someone's opinion change over a few MSN conversations. Like I said before, we never meet each other IRL anymore. She goes to a different Gymnasium. Yeah, school was the only way we used to meet each other. And I, like previously mentioned, have ADHD. People find me to be... annoying. I hardly think any girl has gotten a good impression of how I'm actually like as a person.

But anyway, I didn't take it too hard. I actually felt worse when she was trying to be nice about denying me and not giving me an actual answer. I didn't really feel sad after getting the definite denial; It was almost a relief... Of course I was disappointed, but yeah, I didn't take it all that hard.


Thanks for giving be a good reply, and cheering me up, anyway.

Lack of emotion?! Exactly what men do you meet? :|

I assure you, not even nearly all men are like that. Most probably just wants to hide it. I mean, emotions.

:hihihi:

I suppose so. But the whole thing just seemed so incredibly strange.

Well most of it has been said already but:

- girls younger than 18 ... well they're impossible to figure out. Hormones + puberty + the need to have attention + the need to be popular + the need to look perfect + etc. etc. etc. = a creature you'll never ever figure out. Heck, THEY don't understand what they want, so how would you? Don't forget, they're still learning how to deal with their emotions as well.

For example: I've known a girl who was 17 when I was 22. If I talked to another girl, she was jealous. If I didn't pay her enough attention, she was annoyed. If I showed interest in another girl, she was jealous as well. Yet, when I asked her out, she said no. The reason? She wasn't interested in me but saw me as someone who would give her an ego boost. If I gave other girls any attention, she saw it as a threat to the attention I was giving her. So I finally said, okay this isn't working and I wanted to move on. She then claimed I was selfish because I wouldn't even be her friend but to me, friends don't emotionally blackmail the other to get their own ego boost.

The more a girl grows up, the more she'll drop those tricks. The need for attention will decrease and the need for a more serious relationship will increase. You can be lucky and find a serious girl who is only 16-17 but the majority of girls that age are really not worth the trouble if you ask me unless you're just looking for a playful relationship instead of a serious one.

So in short: they're very unpredictable although not that hard to understand if you look back at what they did. In your case, she knew you liked her and when she needed to get something off her chest, she went to the one person she thought would show compassion. Maybe it was also partially out of guilt for turning you down - letting you into a private part of her soul so to speak.

Excellent reply. Thank you!

I'm quite sure I want a serious relationship, not just a playful one. And this coming from a 17 year old guy who's still... Yeah. Kind of amazing, isn't it? I suppose it kind of shows how stupid it is to say ''guys are perverted freaks who only wants to have sex with you'', right? I think girls misunderstands us more than we misunderstand them. I want to be with someone. Make them happy. And the least I'd want to do is hurt someone.

Yes, us guys are definitely misunderstood. Or at least some. :p But enough bragging about not being stereotypical.


''So in short: they're very unpredictable although not that hard to understand if you look back at what they did. In your case, she knew you liked her and when she needed to get something off her chest, she went to the one person she thought would show compassion. Maybe it was also partially out of guilt for turning you down - letting you into a private part of her soul so to speak.''

That does make sense.

Thanks again for the reply. It's very much appreciated. No, really. It is. I hate being confused, and you're helping me to understand things.

Cheers.

By the way, there's a lot of misunderstandings when it comes to girls & boys.

Truth: if a guy is looking for a serious relationship, he'll be more obstinate about it and work harder to keep the relationship alive. Ever wondered why it's usually the guy who gives up the most in a relationship?

Also: guys take a break up harder and need more time to get over it.

Both cases are in general of course - not everyone is the same - but it's very true that guys take brake ups harder and need more time to get over their ex. In fact, a study showed that girls would get several times faster over a guy. They'd also often jump to another guy in a matter of days while guys would do the opposite: refuse to partner with another girl for a lengthy period of time as if in a state of mourning. So far the myth that guys move from girl to girl and refuse to settle down while fearing a serious relationship.

In the end though I'd say that all of this talk is useless since you can never generalize the whole gender. Every person is an individual and reacts differently, thinks differently etc., and damn me if this forum isn't the proof of that.

Truer words have never been spoken. If you take anything away from this thread Simoneer, take that :)

Also, Tulac is still a girl.

Ah soooooooooo, thàt explains a lot!
:whistling:

True :p That's why I mentioned that as well - but you'd be a fool to not at least recognise general traits and behaviour. We're defined by our emotions, hormones, chemistry, upbringing, culture, etc. When you can see the same traits spread across the world, you can be pretty sure it's not just by chance ;).

In the end we're still tied to our genetics, our instincts, our primal desires and archetypes and while it may not be "politically correct" to point out differences (after all, some seem to think we're all the same which is, frankly, nonsense) it's still a fact. Besides, it makes for lousy advice because it doesn't actually *help* you to recognise behaviour if you assume everyone is different.

I actually added that to my previous post. That everyone's different. But I deleted it. Not sure why, but I couldn't fit it in well...

It's the truth, either way. But, like red_avatar said, ''you'd be a fool to not at least recognise general traits and behaviour''. While everyone is, indeed, different on many points, we still have many things in common in how we are. There's no denying it.

Personally I think those commonalities are more to do with being human than with what does or does not hang between your legs.

Lol. Nice way of putting that last thing.

I tend to disagree - hormones have a big impact on behaviour as well as the other instincts that come with being male/female. And I'm not even mentioning culture which has just as big an impact on how teenagers feel they have to behave.

hormones or not, it still depends on personality

a girl can act totally like a boy and vice versa

Well, there's more than just the way you act that makes who you are. There's still all these emotions. There's... everything else, to be fair.

There's more to someone than how they act, anyway, and that's the point. One can act like a total douche and still be a nice person if you know them. And vice versa.

Life's a bitch.
+
Take whatever life gives you.
=
Take whatever bitch gives you.

So...

+
Women are meant to be loved but it will not make men happy.


Aside with the bullshiting...

Personally, I live by this that Kugerfang quoted, but I deal with women only in person so maybe it's not a good idea to listen to a guy that find doing any (love, relationship, feelings etc.)business with women via the Internet idtiotic.

I also find it idiotic, but only as long as you've never met the girl IRL. So basically, what I find idiotic is internet relationships.

...Although it is pretty stupid to deal with it online, even if you've known the person for 4+ years (IRL), I suppose.

Yes she can but in most cases, there's a difference. Exceptions are called exceptions for a reason ;). And like I said, culture, upbringing, etc. also has a big role into this. In the end, if you take a step back and look at the two genders on the whole, you can see big differences and similarities that transcend upbringing and culture.

He never said that was the exception.

But whatever, personally I've found that I have a lot more success with the people I meet if I deal with them as individuals, and don't ascribe to them traits based on stereotypes. Besides which, asking for relationship advice on an abdandoned gaming forum (as much as we love to help :D) probably won't yield you the best answers.

-____________-

I wasn't freakin' asking for advice! Why the hell are you all drawing that conclusion? I just wanted to figure out what this girl's doing. I wasn't asking what action I should make or something.

*most epic sigh ever made*

Jeez.

EDIT: Sorry for sounding hostile, BTW. But seriously... Getting pretty annoying.

He didn't call it an exception but tomboys are still an exception.

Besides, I never said everyone fit in pigeon holes or that we should judge people according to their background, sex or culture but only a fool would believe these wouldn't help shape a person and it helps a long way to understand why someone behaves in a certain way. Understanding where someone comes from is better than being puzzled and finding a wall of questions when dealing with people. If anything, accepting that many people share similar needs & wants helps you to get closer to them and to get better along with them by making it either for you to feel empathy (something which is a lot harder to do when you don't know why someone behaves the way they do).

To give a simple example: people who grow up in religious areas tend to take religion more serious than people growing up in West-European countries.

don't try to understand women. it'll give you a headache (having been in a relationship for 3/4 years now, i should have some insight into that).

Last time I tried to understand anyone of the female persuasion, my head nearly imploded. I suggest that anyone of the male persuasion stay away from such dangerous thoughts. :D

I just did a test on Facebook, and got the results "100%: Excellent!".

Facebook apps can't be wrong, right? :laugh:

Best advice? Hotness > Personality.

Is that a greater or less than sign? I can't remember.....

Remember, the pacman mouth eats the bigger :D


(Why do you laugh at me? That was the way they taught me at school)

LOL, that's what they taught me too. :D

I wasn't even asking for an advice at all. I just wanted to know what the hell was up with the action she took. It's not like I want to try to get her again... That's why I told her the whole thing in the first place - so I would know if there was a chance or not. Now when I know there isn't, I can finally try to get over her. It was a relief.

Also, what the hell is that for an advice, anyway? One can't just become hotter. xD

They called it a crocodile mouth in the school I went to at the time. :no:

But at my school, ther draw an almost complete circle around it, turning it into a pacman, so we little kids could understand. And hey, kuger, yours was a great school! :p

Wow, I read the whole subject and something started haunting me ,what Simon sayed: "I want to be with someone. Make them happy."

Wow...:hihihi:

Ok, well first thought i had when she denied was something like this *USA teen girl voice*:What a bitch! x)

Haha! Never noticed that.

:hihihi: