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Nobody seems to think my geek humor is funny.
Therefore, I challenge you: Make me laugh. :D Only programming or related geek humor allowed. There's already a thread for normal jokes in 3X Blah, but they are lame jokes, and for non-geeks. This is for the real funny stuff. ;) |
A physicist and a mathematician are in the faculty lounge having a cup of
coffee when, for no apparent reason, the coffee machine bursts into flames. The physicist rushes over to the wall, grabs a fire extinguisher, and fights the fire successfully. The same time next week, the same pair are there drinking coffee and talking shop when the new coffee machine goes on fire. The mathematician stands up, fetches the fire extinguisher, and hands it to the physicist, thereby reducing the problem to one already solved. |
*snicker* ;)
How to program in "C:" 1] Use lots of global variables. 2] Give them cryptic names such as: X27, a_gcl, or Horace. 3] Put everything in one large .h file. 4] Implement the entire project at once. 5] Use macros and #defines to emulate Pascal. 6] Assume the compiler takes care of all the little details you didn't quite understand. "It's 5:50 a.m., Do you know where your stack pointer is?" How to debug a "C" program: 1] If at all possible, don't, let someone else do it. 2] Change majors. 3] Insert/remove blank lines at random spots, re-compile, and excecute. 4] Throw holy water on the terminal. 5] Dial 911 and scream. 6] There is rumour that "printf" is usefull, but this is probably unfounded. 7] Port everything to CP/M. 8] If it still doesn't work, re-write it in assembler. This won't fix the bug, but it will make sure no one else finds it and makes you look bad. Edit: For the record, this is all too true, especially the debugging. I think I've actually done just about everything on the list :( :D |
Q: Why do all Pascal programmers ask to live in Atlantis?
A: Because it's under C level. |
*groan*
Awesomely bad! LOL :D |
Another one:
A computer without COBOL and Fortran is like a piece of chocolate cake without ketchup and mustard. |
OK this one is a bit perverted but what the hell, I had great fun saying this in my computer classes.
Geek 1: So man how was your date with that biology chick ? Geek 2: Great, I got to foreplay but then called it a night. Geek 1: Whoa how did the foreplay work out ? Geek 2: As easy as manipulating a data-structure, Push the Top and Pop the Stack! :D |
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Let me C.....computer jokes. We already had them: Jesus and Satan have a discussion as to who is the better programmer. This goes on for a few hours until they come to an agreement to hold a contest, with God as the judge. They set themselves before their computers and begin. They type furiously, lines of code streaming up the screen, for several hours straight. Seconds before the end of the competition, a bolt of lightning strikes, taking out the electricity. Moments later, the power is restored, and God announces the contest is over. He asks Satan to show what he has come up with. Satan is visibly upset, and cries, "I have nothing. I lost it all when the power went out." Very well, then, says God, "let us see if Jesus fared any better." Jesus enters a command, and the screen comes to life in vivid display, the voices of an angelic choir pour forth from the speakers. Satan is astonished. He stutters, "B-b-but how?! I lost everything, yet Jesus' program is intact? How did he do it?" God chuckles, "Everybody knows...Jesus saves." |
i think the old RUn>dos>RUn one is great :D LOL
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BAD command or file name. Bad command! VEeeeerrry bad command! Hey! Stay! No bad command! Stay... Staaaayyyyyyy........
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Another one (Btw... Unknown, that one cracked me up big time :D )
Q: How do you keep a programmer in the shower all day? A: Give him a bottle of shampoo which says "lather, rinse, repeat." |
Ermmm...:Really funny..... :eeeeeh:
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Let me C.....computer jokes. We already had them: Jesus and Satan have a discussion as to who is the better programmer. This goes on for a few hours until they come to an agreement to hold a contest, with God as the judge. They set themselves before their computers and begin. They type furiously, lines of code streaming up the screen, for several hours straight. Seconds before the end of the competition, a bolt of lightning strikes, taking out the electricity. Moments later, the power is restored, and God announces the contest is over. He asks Satan to show what he has come up with. Satan is visibly upset, and cries, "I have nothing. I lost it all when the power went out." Very well, then, says God, "let us see if Jesus fared any better." Jesus enters a command, and the screen comes to life in vivid display, the voices of an angelic choir pour forth from the speakers. Satan is astonished. He stutters, "B-b-but how?! I lost everything, yet Jesus' program is intact? How did he do it?" God chuckles, "Everybody knows...Jesus saves." [/b][/quote] LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL This one is great. LOL |
In the beginning was the computer. And God said :Let there be light!
#You have not signed on yet. :God. #Enter user password. :Omniscient. #Password Incorrect. Try again! :Omnipotent. #Password Incorrect. Try again! |
At COMDEX Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated: "If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving twenty-five dollar cars that got 1000 miles to the gallon."
In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release stating (by Mr. Welch himself): If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics: * For no reason whatsoever your car would crash twice a day. * Every time they repainted the lines on the road you would have to buy a new car. * Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason, and you would just accept this, restart and drive on. * Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn, would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine. * Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, reliable, five times as fast, and twice as easy to drive, but it would only run on five percent of the roads. * The oil, water temperature and alternator warning lights would be replaced by a single "general car default" warning light. * New seats would force everyone to have the same size behind. * The airbag system would say "Are you sure?" before going off. * Occasionally for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lift the door handle, turn the key, and grab hold of the radio antenna. * GM would require all car buyers to also purchase a deluxe set of Rand McNally road maps (now a GM subsidiary), even though they neither need them nor want them. Attempting to delete this option would immediately cause the car's performance to diminish by 50% or more. Moreover, GM would become a target for investigation by the Justice Department. * Everytime GM introduced a new model car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as in the old car. * You'd press the "start" button to shut off the engine. |
I just can't stop...
new error messages currently under consideration for the new Windows Longhorn operating system... 1 Smash forehead on keyboard to continue. 2 Press any key to continue or any other key to quit. 3 BREAKFAST.SYS halted... Cereal port not responding. 4 Close your eyes and press escape three times. 5 File not found. Should I fake it? (Y/N) 6 Runtime Error 6D at 417A:32CF: Incompetent User. 7 Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue. 8 Bad command or file name! Go stand in the corner. 9 Windows message: "Error saving file! Format drive now? (Y/Y)" 10 Windows VirusScan 1.0 - "Windows found: Remove it? (Y/N)" :help: |
This is a good example of very old jokes worked over to fit the current timeline... :whistle:
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Big, awful threadbump, but couldn't resist, as this one's too damn good :D
A foo walks into a bar. Asks the bartender: "What're you trying to prove?" :roflol: *dies laughing* :roflol: |
Error! Keyboard not found. Press F1 to continue...
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Hey, that's a real thing it used to show up, back on the old 286s :blink:
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''Practice Safe Hex Don't Get Viruses''
Not so much a joke, a half grin joke I saw on a t-shirt. |
if operating system were airline:
Windows The hall is good looking,clean,personnel are nice.you get onboard without any problems,take off-then suddenly without any warning the plane crashes. Unix everybody takes a bit of airplane with themselves to the airstrip,where they start building a plane.they keep arguing what type of plane are they building. NT Everybody goes to airstrip,say the password-contures of plane appear.then all of them sit down,making noises like they fly if operating system were like going in a car to shop MS_DOS you enter the car and try to remember where are you keys windows you enter the car and ride to the shop-very slowly,because you drag a train wagon behind you Mac,sys 7 you enter the car,wanting to go to shop,but the car takes you to church Unix you enter the car,say grapefruit shop the car goes at the speed 250kph,stopping at barbery windows NT you enter the car,write a letter like"go to shop".then you get out and send the letter to your car OS/2 you buy 6000 litres of gasoline,get in car and drive to shop,with motorcycle escort before you and march behind you.in the middle of the way the car explodes,killing everybody |
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Microsoft You have two cows, but you don't own them. They are sick and you spend more on keeping them healthy than you make with them. You are unaware that alternatives exist, and their milk is addictive. Microsoft Windows You have two cows and a stupid dog in the corner telling you where to find your damned files. One of your cows has caused a general protection fault and now neither of them will ever produce milk again, even if you kill them and replace them with two brand new cows. The dog never dies. Linux You have a million rabbits. They run a lot faster than cows, but aren't as friendly. You can't even give them away. In order to use them, you must RTFM. Similar to GNU. These rabbits are totally convinced that they have surpassed all other cows, of course the Linux are young and mostly unfamiliar with the wisdom of the older breeds, such as the OpenVMS, the Sun, and the AIX. The Linux are flexible and very fast, but they still have much to learn. Gentoo You have one cow, which is transsexual. Apple You have two cows. They are beautiful and work perfectly, but no one will buy them, probably because their milk isn't compatible with the majority of cereal. They will buy your chicken, however, which helps your stock. Mac OS X You have the prettiest two Jersey cows ever seen. They have the shiniest eyes, and can lick their own ears with their tongues. New cowbells are available every month for download. However, manufacturers still only make milking machines for Fresians. OpenBSD You have two cows, anyone can do whatever he or she wants with them. People can trample babies with them for all you care. You will never feed them undocumented feed or use undocumented equipment, because you believe in true Freedom. |
There are three engineers going by car and at some point the car shuts off without a clare reason.
Immediately the electronical engineer says: I bet that a fusible acted, turning off the electronic circuit! We just have to replace that fusible! The mechanical engineer, instead says: I'm sure that a mechanism stopped due to lack of lubricant! We have just to wait and replace the lubricant! Finally the "computer sience" engineer suggest: why don't we get off the car, get back in the car and try to switch on it again? |
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Best joke I ever made to myself:
Spending 4 hours trying to fix a bugged script, reading it ten times over and every time forgetting that "Call Label" remembers the position in the datafile, to where it returns when "Return Call" is used, when you have used these commands countless times before. That happened to me just yesterday. |
this joke is bad but i shall post it why did the programmer ask to live next to the debuger
a so he could debug his own work i knbow it's crap but i am in a funny mood today |
2 error messages my mate who got windows loghorn beta had
in windows disk defragmenter windows found remove it rewinstall it or destroy your copy of it starting windows keyboard not found go stick the keyboard to your head so you remember to plug it in to pc i know theses are fake but if they were reall wow things would get out of hand |
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Well I posted this in the JOKES thread - but here it goes again!
There are only 10 kinds of people in the world: Those who can read binary, and those who can't. BTW - Nice to see you again Aaberg! Welcome back. :Brain: |
hang on my joke stunk worse than anyone else well better commit suicide goodbye crulel; world hey my favourite tv sahows on watchs tv a well you win some you lose some
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And what about the double posting? |
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Yes, that too. But I don't find double-posting as annoying as thousand words just thrown without interpunction in one sentence. Forget that, it isn't even a sentence. It lacks final dot. |
Uhh how cliched but hmmm
Geek1: how did your date with that hotty go Geek2: oh we went all the way geek1: really? how was it? Geek2: not much just a lot of input,output and loop |
A musician invited his friend programmer to see his new piano.
Programmer came, sit with it for a while and said: -Old keyboard: only 86 keys, but pressing "Shift" with leg - that's original! |
APPLE
Arogance produces profit losing entity BASIC Bill's attemt to seize industry control DOS defective operating system IBM I blame microsoft ISDN It still does nothing WINDOWS Will install needless on whole system WWW Worldwide wait |
In chat:
It: People, give me IP of some fool! <Someone>: 127.0.0.1 It: Wow! Thanks! He's dead... It leaves chat. |
Topicbumppp... ^_^
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@moogle: Are people that stupid? |
@Danny: The topic's here for it. 's Better than starting a new one.
@Nick: Old one, but always does the trick for dumbasses :D Always's a good laugh, too :ok: @Moogle: You laugh, but there really are people out there that look for the Any key :blink: |
Bash.org is a good source of geeky humor.. some of the best (some may be censored by the word-filter) :
<Zybl0re> get up <Zybl0re> get on up <Zybl0re> get up <Zybl0re> get on up <phxl|paper> and DANCE * nmp3bot dances :D-< * nmp3bot dances :D|-< * nmp3bot dances :D/-< <[SA]HatfulOfHollow> i'm going to become rich and famous after i invent a device that allows you to stab people in the face over the internet ------ t0rbad> so there i was in this hallway right BlackAdder> i believe i speak for all of us when i say... BlackAdder> WRONG BTICH BlackAdder> IM SICK OF YOU BlackAdder> AND YOUR LAME STORIES BlackAdder> NOBODY HERE THINKS YOURE FUNNY BlackAdder> NOBODY HERE WANTS TO HEAR YOUR STORIES BlackAdder> IN FACT BlackAdder> IF YOU DIED RIGHT NOW BlackAdder> I DON"T THINK NOBODY WOULD CARE BlackAdder> SO WHAT DO YOU SAY TO THAT *** *** t0rbad sets mode: +b BlackAdder*!*@*.* *** BlackAdder has been kicked my t0rbad ( ) t0rbad> so there i was in this hallway right CRCError> right heartless> Right. r3v> right ----- <tatclass> YOU ALL SUCK DICK <tatclass> er. <tatclass> hi. <andy\code> A common typo. <tatclass> the keys are like right next to each other. ----- <Cthon98> hey, if you type in your pw, it will show as stars <Cthon98> ********* see! <AzureDiamond> hunter2 <AzureDiamond> doesnt look like stars to me <Cthon98> <AzureDiamond> ******* <Cthon98> thats what I see <AzureDiamond> oh, really? <Cthon98> Absolutely <AzureDiamond> you can go hunter2 my hunter2-ing hunter2 <AzureDiamond> haha, does that look funny to you? <Cthon98> LOL, yes. See, when YOU type hunter2, it shows to us as ******* <AzureDiamond> thats neat, I didnt know IRC did that <Cthon98> yep, no matter how many times you type hunter2, it will show to us as ******* <AzureDiamond> awesome! <AzureDiamond> wait, how do you know my pw? <Cthon98> er, I just copy pasted YOUR ******'s and it appears to YOU as hunter2 cause its your pw <AzureDiamond> oh, ok. ----- <DeadMansHand> haha, last night, me and pete went out to celebrate his engagement and got hugely drunk <DeadMansHand> we got this great idea to bury eachother in the sand close to the water and see who would chicken out first <DeadMansHand> took about a half hour, but the water got up to my face so i freaked and got out <DeadMansHand> i looked around for pete and he must've chickened out before me and stumbled home or something heh <DeadMansHand> What'd he say when he woke up this morning? <Thirteen-> uhh.. he hasn't come home yet.. i thought he was staying with you? <DeadMansHand> holy *meep*. <DeadMansHand> i *dirty word* hope im wrong about what im thinking right now <DeadMansHand> im *dirty word* going back to the beach to make sure <DeadMansHand> if he gets home, call me, i don't want to be worrying about this <Thirteen-> will do. you better hope he's not still buried, you'll be in deep muck. quit: (DeadMansHand) <Tyran> wtf? pete came home last night you *meep*. Ken's going to be worrying about this muck all day <Thirteen-> haha yea, but it will be fun while it lasts join: (PeteRepeat) (bob@3F8C4655.11D1C8C.18637D35.IP) <PeteRepeat> *dirty word* ken <PeteRepeat> ken... that *meep*er buried me in the sand last night, i ran off about 5 minutes to it, left him there to be an idiot <quiqsilver> pete, ken didn't come back last night, i thought he was with you. <PeteRepeat> oh *meep*. <PeteRepeat> if ken shows up, make sure he doesn't know that im at the beach digging for his body. i don't want him to think i care or anything. quit: (PeteRepeat) <Thirteen-> rofl. Those 2 are going to get a huge surprise when they meet at the beach. <Tyran> i can't beleive how perfect their timing was ----- <Ben174> : If they only realized 90% of the overtime they pay me is only cause i like staying here playing with Kazaa when the bandwidth picks up after hours. <ChrisLMB> : If any of my employees did that they'd be fired instantly. <Ben174> : Where u work? <ChrisLMB> : I'm the CTO at LowerMyBills.com *** Ben174 (BenWright@TeraPro33-41.LowerMyBills.com) Quit (Leaving) ----- *** Now talking in #christian -Word_of_God- Welcome Abstruse to #christian I am a Bible Bot. For more info type: /msg Word_of_God !info <Abstruse> !kjv numbers 22:21 <Word_of_God> Numbers 22:21 -- And Balaam rose up in the morning, and saddled his behind, and went with the princes of Moab. - (KJV) *** SageRider sets mode: +b *!*@c211-30-208-111.rivrw3.nsw.optusnet.com.au *** Word_of_God was kicked from #christian by SageRider (Please dont Swear) <Abstruse> I know I'm never going to be able to come back in this channel again after this, but damn was it worth it to see that... ----- <kow`> "There are 10 types of people in the world... those who understand binary and those who don't." <SpaceRain> That's only 2 types of people, kow. <SpaceRain> STUPID ----- <wolf> 1. Save every Free Credit Card Offer you get, Put it in pile A <wolf> 2. Save every Free Coupon You get, put that in pile B <wolf> 3. Now open the credit card mail from pile A and find the Business Reply Mail Envelope. <wolf> 4. Take the coupons from pile B and stuff them in the envelope you hold in your hand. <wolf> 5. Drop the stuffed to the brim envelopes in your mail and walk away whistling. <wolf> I have now received two phone calls from the credit card companies telling me that they received a stuffed envelope with coupons rather then my application. They informed me that it they are not pleased that they footed the bill for the crap I sent them. I reply with "It says Business Reply Mail" I'm suggesting coupons to you to ensure that your business is more successful. They promptly hang up on me. <wolf> Now, I did this for about a month before it got boring, so I got an added idea! I added exactly 33 cents worth of pennies to the envelope so they paid EXTRA due to the weight. I got a call informing me about the money, I said it was a mistake and I demanded my change back. After yelling at the clerk and then to the supervisor they agreed to my demands and cut me a check for the money. I hold in my hand at this very moment a check from GTE Visa for exactly 33 cents. ----- docsigma2000: jesus christ man docsigma2000: my son is sooooooo dead c8info: Why? docsigma2000: hes been looking at internet web sites in *dirty word* EUROPE docsigma2000: HE IS SURFING LONG DISTANCE docsigma2000: our *dirty word* phone bill is gonna be nuts c8info: Ooh, this is bad. Surfing long distance adds an extra $69.99 to your bill per hour. docsigma2000: ...!!!!!! *meep* *meep* *meep* docsigma2000: is there some plan we can sign up for??? docsigma2000: cuz theres some cool stuff in europe, but i dun wanna pauy that much c8info: Sorry, no. There is no plan. you'll have to live with it. docsigma2000: o well, i ccan live without europe intenet sites. docsigma2000: but till i figure out how to block it hes sooooo dead c8info: By the way, I'm from Europe, your chatting long distance. ** docsigma2000 has quit (Connection reset by peer) ----- <LordChewy> so my dad found my porn folder <LordChewy> and he was getting all pissed <LordChewy> so its all like "does this surprise you? i'm not stupid you know" <LordChewy> "i know dad" <LordChewy> "what do you have to say for yourself?" <LordChewy> at this point i stare at him straight in the eyes and say "C:Documents and SettingsRickyMy Documentsfaxessent faxes" <LordChewy> and he just shut up <kingKahn> what is it? <LordChewy> its his porn folder ----- <ohm> damn <ohm> *meep* <ohm> DAMN <ohm> i was just in an AIM convo with a chick, and my grandmother's window pops up <ohm> *meep* <ohm> i go like this to her <ohm> "i want to suck on your clit" <ohm> *meep* ----- <Zanthis(ALE)> AFK, tornado ----- <studdud> what the *meep* is wtf ----- <Patrician|Away> what does your robot do, sam <bovril> it collects data about the surrounding environment, then discards it and drives into walls ----- <Sonium> someone speak python here? <lucky> HHHHHSSSSSHSSS <lucky> SSSSS <Sonium> the programming language ----- <h|tler> HOW THE *meep* CAN YOU TELL THAT I'M 13 BY LOOKING AT WHAT I'M WRITEING?????????????????????????????????????????? ??????????? ----- <reo4k> just type /quit whoever, and it'll quit them from irc * luckyb1tch has quit IRC (r`heaven) * r3devl has quit IRC (r`heaven) * sasopi has quit IRC (r`heaven) * phhhfft has quit IRC (r`heaven) * blackersnake has quit IRC (r`heaven) <ibaN`reo4k[ex]> that's gotta hurt <r`heaven> :( ----- <frank> can you help me install GTA3? <knightmare> first, shut down all programs you aren't using frank has quit IRC. (Quit) <knightmare> ... ----- <Raven> I tried setting my hotmail password to penis. <Raven> It said my password wasn't long enough. :( ----- <DmncAtrny> I will write on a huge cement block "BY ACCEPTING THIS BRICK THROUGH YOUR WINDOW, YOU ACCEPT IT AS IS AND AGREE TO MY DISCLAIMER OF ALL WARRANTIES, EXPRESS OR IMPLIED, AS WELL AS DISCLAIMERS OF ALL LIABILITY, DIRECT, INDIRECT, CONSEQUENTIAL OR INCIDENTAL, THAT MAY ARISE FROM THE INSTALLATION OF THIS BRICK INTO YOUR BUILDING." <DmncAtrny> And then hurl it through the window of a Sony officer <DmncAtrny> and run like hell ----- (Mootar) morons. (Mootar) these people who live in my apartment complex are connected to my wireless (Mootar) they must think they're super-cool hackers by breaking into my completely unsecure network (Mootar) unfortunatly, the connection works both ways (Mootar) long story short, they now have loads of horse porn on their computer ----- *** Quits: TITANIC (Excess Flood) ----- Spin: arrrr, pirates of the south west Spin: thar be large pipes o'bandwith near ye'ol univarsety. Pirate: yearg, ye may be an ta somethan thar. Spin: what say ye we pull yonder USB hard disk longside yonder NMSU puter and begin tha lutin and plunderin. Pirate: yearg. The master done gaved me a testin machine with a grand ol CDR. Pirate: Avast! Pirate: MP3s off the starboard bow! Spin: stere clear of ye porn pop ups rollin in from tha east. Pirate: I have mah trusty Opera browsa to help me fend em off. Spin: encrypt the data holds, batton down thar security patches, argh thar be spyware abound. ----- <Ich> I have passed the transitional stage of internet geekhood <Ich> I was cashiering at work today, and was punching in the code for plums, which is 4040. <Ich> and the 0 key doesn't work this well, so I punched it in wrong. <Ich> and the machine flashed up "Item Not Found: 404" <Ich> and I actually laughed out loud ----- <Sigurd> a sprite is anything not static <SRElysian> a sprite is a variable object <SRElysian> be it 2d or 3d <TorMuck> a sprite is a *dirty word* soda <TorMuck> you god damn geekass bastards ----- <YuFFie> SO U HACKING ME THEN HUH <YuFFie> WElL I GOT NEWS FOR U MISTER I GOT MORE FIREWALL POWERS NOW SO IM SECURE AND IM USING WINDOWS 98 SO IM REALLY SECURE FROM HACKERS LIKE YOU SO YOU BETTA JUST GIVE UP CUZ U GOT NO HOPE MISTER. * YuFFie (~mirc@3B942731.dsl.stlsmo.swbell.net) Quit (Quit: Owned.) * YuFFie (~mirc@3B942731.dsl.stlsmo.swbell.net) has joined # <YuFFie> HELP MY MOUSE IS MOVING BY IT SELF ----- <Firefly> Time for my prayers: <Firefly> Our Father, who 0wnz heaven, j00 r0ck! <Firefly> May all 0ur base someday be belong to you! <Firefly> May j00 0wn earth just like j00 0wn heaven. <Firefly> Give us this day our warez, mp3z, and pr0n through a phat pipe. <Firefly> And cut us some slack when we act like n00b lamerz, just as we teach n00bz when they act lame on us. <Firefly> Please don't give us root access on some poor d00d'z box when we're too pissed off to think about what's right and wrong, and if you could keep the fbi off our backs, we'd appreciate it. <Firefly> For j00 0wn r00t on all our b0x3s 4ever and ever, 4m3n. ----- <+mOrphz> damn it :/ <@Lego> damn it :/ <+mOrphz> stop that <@Lego> stop that <+mOrphz> :D <@Lego> :D <+mOrphz> Lego smells <@Lego> Lego smells <+mOrphz> /quit quit: (Lego) (~leet@apex|Lego.user.gamesnet) (Quit) ----- <@Logan> I spent a minute looking at my own code by accident. <@Logan> I was thinking "What the hell is this guy doing?" ----- <Freezer_Burn> how do i removed a burned in image from my monitor <seamuso> buy a new monitor <Freezer_Burn> i cant <Kornchild> how did you burn an image into yoru monitor? <Freezer_Burn> i set it to full screen at high brightness and fell asleep <Freezer_Burn> there is a faint outline of a naked lady with her legs wide open showing her privates <Freezer_Burn> and i i have to remove it before my mom comes home tomorrow night <trance`> Freezer_Burn LMFAO <meanolthing`> LOL ----- <Ded`work> "Roses are red, violets are blue, all of my base, are belong to you"...heh, cute <Ded`work> a geek valetine poem <Arcturus> Roses are #FF0000, violets are #0000FF <phillys> rofl ----- <windows_macgeek> Is there a way to overclock a compact flash card to have more storage? <InvisableMan> umm..... can you overclock the memory in your computer to give you more storage? <windows_macgeek> HAHAHA!!!! Of course not, idiot! <InvisableMan> you just took the words right out of my mouth. <windows_macgeek> ...Oh. |
The Former ISP I had was run by one guy and his tech both of which had no idea what they were doing half the time.
One day I can't go online so I call tech service and get a recording." "We are aware that our server is currently down, please see our website for more details of when service will be restored." How the hell am I supposed to do that. |
Your telephone has been disconnected. Please call our helpline number for further assistance.
:D |
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I just C/P'ed some of the better from Bash.. and i did it @ 5 am in the morning.... :blink:
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Linux is to desktop as Windows is to System failed
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Reasons to believe computers are female
No one but their creator understands their internal logic. Even the smallest mistakes are immediately committed to memory. The native language used to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to anyone else. The message "bad command or file name" is about as informative as, "If you don't know what is wrong, then I'm not going to tell you." As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it. Thanks to http://www.hotbars.net/funny/category/Geek_jokes.html |
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