So awhile back (and maybe now still) there was the huge scare about sending anthrax through the mail. Well, I have a question. When they send anthrax through the mail, who's the poor sap that has to lick the envelope? :blink:

Have you not heard of peel and seal envelopes.

That would be the guy who developed the antrax virus culture. If he doesn't die after posting 150 envelopes - he made an useless virus - so they torture him.and he dies after weeks of agonising pain :evil:

so basically, he's screwed no matter what?

You bet!

How would you like to be that guy chosen at the meetings?

Supervisor: "Alright gang, we're going to be sending anthrax to those dirty americans through their postal service again. Ahmad, you're in charge of making cultures of the virus, Ajeet, you secure the addreses of those we hate, Amir, you address the envelopes, and Apu, you get to fill and lick the envelopes this time!"

Apu: "Ah crap...there goes my career"

LOL Who knows maybe it did turn out like that LOL

they're arabs, so think out of the box here, guys!
I say they used a dog trained to lick envelopes :D

maybe they're the guys willing to strap bombs to themselves and blow themselves up anyway, so what's a little death in the system before hand right?

Supervisor (Osama): "You know Apu, before you go blow up the café as well as yourself, do you think it would be possible to lick shut these three hundred odd envelopes? Thanks, that would be great. Oh, and make sure you put the clear cover sheet on the TPS report ok? Yeah, thanks..."

I assume none of you have heard of envelopes that can seal themselves without having to lick them.

For those who saw 2DTV (a satirical cartoon sketch series involving celebrities. Showed in the UK, not sure about other countries) back when it was still funny, they had one sketch of Osama Bin Laden carefully putting spoonfuls of anthrax into an envelope, shaking and sweating from the fear. He finally gets it all in and licks the envelope, then after a 3/4 second pause, he just falls backwards. 'twas rather funny.

well, what's the point of that? The taste of that glue is like, the best part of sending a letter!

Well, these envelopes don't have to be licked either. Wet a sponge with water and press with your fingers. Tada.

well, what's the point of that? The taste of that glue is like, the best part of sending a letter! [/b][/quote]
That glue is disgusting.

That glue is disgusting. [/b][/quote]
The nice taste of envelopes and stamps is only matched by that of adheshive sheets of paper (which are better becuase there is more glue).

:roflol:

Uuu... a deep thinking! LOL

Yup indeed.

if they drive cars into americans with bombs underneath, they'll lick envelopes to americans with anthrax inside ^_^
few million of them left ^_^

Or you can say that the whole anthrax thing was one huge conspiracy :P

Does anyone know how Antrax tastes like? Maybe it makes the glue taste even better!

But has anyone ever considered the possibility that they kidnap people to lick the envalopes? I mean - that would explain some of the kidnapings! LOL

Does anyone know how Antrax tastes like? Maybe it makes the glue taste even better!

But has anyone ever considered the possibility that they kidnap people to lick the envalopes? I mean - that would explain some of the kidnapings! LOL [/b][/quote]
Girl: "Please don't rape me!"

Apu: "W're not going to touch you, geez. Calm down. All american girls are so full of themselves...think we just want them for sex...psh...just lick these stupid envelopes and then we'll let you go!"

Girl: "Huh? You mean...you don't want my body? What's wrong! Am I too fat!??! Are my boobs not big enough!? Is it because I'm not blonde?!? Tell me!"

:roflol: me again!

LOL this is turning into quite the funny thread LOL

Why do you say that? Do you think it's funny if a girl is frustrated because even her kidnapers don't want to rape her, yet they still desire her to perform a lot of licking?
Or do you find it funny that some poor SOBs are :wall: while trying to perfect the method of licking envalopes with dangerous content?
Isn't it bad enough the their leader died while posting an exploding letter, but didn't put enough stamps on and when they brought it back to him (off course he wrote down the returning address) he accidentaly opened it! :pissed:

Is that really funny :blink: :eeeeeh:

Please refrain from rasistic remarks here.

I wasn't aware of racist remarks being made...just Sebatianos being his normal sarcastic self. Hehe...I totally forgot about the exploding letter incident. Honestly, how stupid can you be? I mean, you send out this bomb letter, and a few days later you get an identical letter in the mail stamped "not enough postage." Did he really get that excited about getting a nice package in the mail that he failed to see that he was the return address and it wasn't sent to him? The story in smilies would have gone like this:

:bye: (hello post man) :w00t: (a package for me!?) :Brain: (woohoo, I feel loved!) <opens package> :blink: (this looks fami....) :pissed: (boom!) :wall: (stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid!)

The most funny (and weird) thing about this topic is,that it isnt closed already... :eeeeeh:

Who knows....Maybe the postman was CIA agent..... :evil:

Why would it be closed? We're staying on topic :bleh:


CIA in the postal service eh? How do they get away with sending anthrax through the mail? Wouldn't the mailman be a little suspicious in picking up 500 letters from one house, all with a kind of squishy feeling inside them from the powder? Or maybe they dump them into those mailboxes out side drug stores. Hmmm...

Well there is also other events in which could have CIA fingers:
Apu:Is there really none who want to die fighting infindels by licking 20 envelpes?
Random Terrorist:Me!
(dies)
Apu:Unfortunetly, we accquired another 40 targets....Any other volunteers?
RT2: Me!
(dies)
RT3:And me too...
(dies)
Apu:This one will be for the president ,I beg our leader if he wouldnt lick the envelope?
Terrorist leader(and last terrorist):It will be a honour
(dies)
Apu calls to white house:Mr President we have terminated another terrorist group!
:evil:

HAHAHA! :roflol: That one was good.

Apu: Now, what to do with all these envelopes... Hey, might as well post them...
-later-
CIA Boss: You mean you just posted 4000 letters, filled with anthrax, all over the US?
Apu: Wait, they never mentioned the anthrax, I thought they were just randomly dying...

CIA boss: Apu - you idiot! You mean you didn't know what they were doing???
Apu: Sorry boss. Do you have the mailing list o fpeople that were supposed to get the letters?
CIA boss: No, I gave the only copy to you. What did you do to it?
Apu: I mailed it back to you.
CIA boss *looks at his desk*: Ah yes, here it is. Opens it and dies because of Antrax.
Apu *picks up the phone*: Hello? Can I talk to commrade commander Boris Killallofthemich? Commrade commander, your idea of sending double agents was excelent! My job is done. We sent the antrax all around Amerika and they even payed for it. We also killed off the biggest terrorist cell. Just now I got the head of CIA. I'm ready for that holyday in Cuba now - are the women ready for me?
Commrade commander: Good work Apu. Finally the KGB got its revenge on the Amerikanskys. You may go to Cuba now and enjoy. Tovarish Fidel has been notified and is also very greatful to you.

EDIT: maybe we should turn this into a story... there have been some similar threads, but this one has the biggest potential!

I agree! like the rolling story, but better!

:roflol: (I think that post with one smiley is a spam :ph34r:, so I will add few words )

Haha,muuuaaahhha

such creativity spanning from one simple question...ahhh computer geeks, you gotta love em