(I post this here, coz the Art section didn't seem right, and the games/competition won't allow polls.)

The idea is: Write as many limericks you want here, and by the end of next month, we'll all vote for the best one. I will open a poll with the names of the participants. Then you will select ONE limerick you think deserves 1st place, and you will vote for the writer. I'm sorry there won't be any prizes attached :) but just think of the fame and glory you'll enjoy for eons to come.

A Limerick: is a 5 line joke in the shape of a poem structured like this:

1st, 2nd and 5th line have 9 syllables, or at least a 9 syllable feel to them. These 3 lines must rhyme.
(another definition is that these lines must fit into a 3 beat pattern)

3rd and 4th line have 5 syllables or a 5 syllable feel. These 2 lines must rhyme.
(or, they must fit into a 2 beat pattern)

So: The rhyme structure will be

A-A-B-B-A

Next:
The first line must point to a person and end with a place name.
The fifth line must have the punch-line

Does this sound simple enough for you to have a go at it?

Ok, I'll post some and I hope you will follow up with yours:

There was a goon from Tipperary
Who boasted that his chest was hairy
But all of the rest
Knew he was a jest
Yeah, all of us knew he's a fairy

This old man from Dublin Town
He was a man of some reknown
His name traveled far
From tavern to bar
He's Boozy, the Dead Drunken Clown

This Lady from Ol' New Orleans
She thought her the Queen of queens
She spent all her years
On Whisky and beer
Now she's quick to slip out of her jeans

If men retired come from their holes, it is best if they come to give no usefull bearings. Thus I try my hand.


Nicholai Lobo lay in my bed,
His socks on his feet, pants on his head,
The man was witty,
He thought me pretty,
It was not 'ere long he was quite dead.

There once was a man from Nantucket
<EDIT> (let's keep this a family friendly site, right?)

Giacomo Giacomo of New York
Had a predireliction for pork
When to his great suprise
A pair of piggish eyes
Quickly saw that swine upon a fork

Nice to see a contestant :) and welcome back ;)

Now, let's see who's next...

I couldn't resist a limerick competition ...

There was a young man from Croatia -
Abandonia was his creation.
By strength of his nog',
He beat down a 'Dog -
That site made by some chick in Asia.

(and just to hopefully pre-empt getting my head bitten off, I have great respect for Underdogs [both the person and the site], I just thought it would be a cute home-team rhyme :P )

Sweet :D An Abandonia home-team limerick. That ought to earn it an additional point, if I'm not mistaking the dwellers for someone else entrely. Ok, now we're going somewhere. 3 contestants and it starts to look like a real competition. :ok:

There once was a Dragon from Sydney,
Who lived all alone in his mis'ry.
He had nothing to eat
Because it's an impossible feat
To find a fair virgin from that city

A young man who hailed from near Prague
Was called by many "A daft retard,"
For his website was leeching,
And much copyright 'twas breaching,
So Abandonians had him feathered and tarred.

By the by, hooray for this thread Mighty Midget!

edited to add extra rule-bending syllabic goodness :)

There once was a girl so discreat
She was pretty and pert and petite
But when she played with a man
She had whips in her hand
And had spurs on the boots of her feet

There once was a man who would jump
He was frequently covered in lumps
He would fly through the air
With hardly a care
And come down with a BUMP on his rump

There once was a lady from Nizus,
Who had breasts of two different sizes,
She had one that was small,
And round like a ball
But the other was big and won prizes

There once was a woman named Ann
Who was said to be quite like a man.
When nature did call,
She ran down the hall,
And went to the gentleman's can.

There was a young girl from Khartoum
Who took a nancy boy up to her room.
She said, 'Now, my dear,
'Let's get one thing quite clear:
'Who does what-and when-and to whom.'

Curse limericks for lending themselves to dirtyness!

Wow! You really are a productive one, ReamusLQ :D and welcome to the show Lulu Jane, glad to have you onboard, you proved to be quite a poet over at the Poem topic too :ok:

Ok, I'll throw in a few more:

There was this chap from Laos
Who's finances were chaos
He stayed at Ritz
Got blown to bits
When he wouldn't pay us.

There was this bloke from Amsterdam
Who never could stay off the dram
Then one Thursday
In his birthday
Suit he dozed off in a pram.

Then this cheapo from Hebron
Who never let the heater on
To save his dosh
He meant no bosh
Now, he froze to death, that moron.

This hunk from Oklahoma
Who laughed at every trauma
But the news broke
His girl's a bloke
And he slipped into a coma

Please don't laugh, im no good at this sort of thing, I just thought it might be fun.

There was once a guy called David Slice
He started eating rice
The house was all plastic
And the cardboard street didn't look fantastic
Just then, his house was hit by two dice

EDIT: Thanks for the tip, Mighty Midget.

Noone is laughing, except maybe for the jokes here :)

Pssssst: Change that first line so that it rhymes with rice and dice, and you got something :ok: