Taken from a comedian who went to the National bear park in Canada:
Black is the announcement, green is comedians words, red is the bear
There are 2 types of bears in this area. Black bears & brown bears(grizzly).
When being attacked by a brown bear or grizzly do not attempt to run away.
Grizzlies can run faster than race horses.(Yeah right! Then why don't you see them at race meetings)
Play dead.(Sure that's what the bear want's isn't it: "Good! His dead. Now I can eat him")
Should the bear start to eat you play dismembered.
The thing is that you don't have to run faster than a race horse, ....You just have to run faster than the people your with. By the time his caught up with John or whoever, ....you can walk home
This is much better heard than written
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