[Mighty Midget]

Thank you.

[whining]
Ok, so what's new? When I got back home last week I realized I has lost my rainjacket at the airport. I'll get it back, it will probably be here on Monday. Anyway, it's clear I'm still deep in it. The weather here is godawful these days with only a few hours of no rain so far this week and my walks have suffered from this. I guess I know I have been using the weather and the missing rainjacket as an excuse not to be as busy as I was before that happened. There have been a few walks and there have been moments where things become lighter, where I felt more energy and will to do something. I started tidying up and cleaning my apartment but I know how little it takes still before that energy is lost and the negativety comes back. Yesterday evening I got a phonecall from "home" I didn't need and it ended up with me heading straight for the pub. I knew I was shirking "homework" and that I was running away again and it made me feel even worse. I continued today with the home chores but today has been hard to keep my focus on what I should focus on. The stupid bit is that it makes me feel better to do that tidying and cleaning but yesterday is still a bit too heavy and I just don't have the energy to get started. I feel like a car with dead batteries, that has to jump-start itself.

Another thing is I just heard a mate of mine had to go to the hospital for some heart surgery. I will go see him but I feel like an arse for digging myself down like this and not caring enough for him.
[/whining]