[Fruit Pie Jones]

I know absolutely nothing about Filipino politics, but I do know a thing or two about Maryland, having been there several times. My experience allows me to say beyond a shadow of a doubt that you are definitely not in Maryland. Should you happen to visit Maryland sometime soon, I recommend checking out the National Aquarium in Baltimore. It's quite nice, although if you happen to have a fear of the ocean and all things that live there, you might prefer to attend an Orioles game instead.

Having checked the Orioles' 2010 record, I see that they're 8-21 right now, placing them firmly at the bottom of the American League East - and all of major-league baseball, in fact. Yikes. Maybe you should just go out for seafood.

Baltimore has many good seafood restaurants, including Captain James Landing on Boston Street. Be careful when asking directions; if the person to whom you are speaking gives you directions to Boston, Massachusetts, instead of Boston Street, you will arrive to discover that you are in a completely different state - the aforementioned Massachusetts - and roughly 400 miles from your beloved Baltimore. On the bright side, the Boston Red Sox, who are also in the AL East, are doing significantly better this year than the Orioles - but really, who isn't? (The Houston Astros, that's who.) For that reason, instead of driving all the way up to Boston just for a baseball game, you really should just stay in Baltimore and eat seafood. That does bring up the whole fear-of-the-ocean thing again, though. If that's still a problem, maybe Maryland isn't the place for you after all. You should probably forget about Massachusetts too.

Nebraska - now there's a nice, landlocked state, hundreds of miles from those fish-infested oceans. Unfortunately, I've never been there, so I couldn't tell you the first thing about it.

I hope that helps. Also, vote for the pilot.