«

[TheGiantMidgit]

Most of these are due to the fact that anyone today can sue for nearly anything, -unless- there's a warning smeared across the offending object.

Seanbaby, for example, has this to say on the subject:

"I've figured out how the world got so uncontrollably sarcastic. It's warning labels. Everything we buy is covered in directions and warnings so ridiculous that the only people who could benefit from them have no prayer of actually being able to read them. How can you not be sarcastic when the packaging material in your stereo tells you it's not food? There are things the size of a football that are legally obligated to call themselves choking hazards. I understand babies love to eat matchbox cars, but if something's more than a foot wide, it shouldn't say "CHOKING HAZARD." It should say, "GO AHEAD AND TRY TO EAT THIS, MR. BIGMOUTH."

Funtastic Fact: The only warning label on the Billy Bass singing fish is "USE PARENTAL SUPERVISION WHEN CHANGING BATTERIES." Of all the products in the world, this thing needs warnings more than anything. For example, "CAUTION: PRODUCT WILL ROB YOU OF ANY SENSE OF PRIDE." or "WARNING: YOUR PURCHASE OF THIS DEVICE HAS FLAGGED YOU AS AN EXPENDABLE CITIZEN IN THE GOVERNMENT'S DE-POPULATION PROGRAM."

Ridiculous warning labels come from two places: idiots and people pretending to be idiots for the purposes of a lawsuit. If people find out you're intelligent, you're going to have a hard time convincing them that you didn't know it would hurt if you poured hot coffee on yourself. If you say something like that, you better follow it by saying, "UURBLLGGGG," blowing spit bubbles, and soiling your pants. A non-idiot is never going to tell a room full of people that they ate an odor eater because "the box didn't tell them not to." No, if you managed to get to adulthood, chances are you've figured out what products kill you when you eat them, and what's okay to pour on yourself. It's only a matter of years before we won't even be able to watch TV because the screen will be obstructed by giant words saying, "DO NOT RAM HEAD THROUGH. NOT TO BE TAKEN INTERNALLY."

Lawsuits are destroying our ability to survive. We may be too stupid to get through a cup of coffee without help, but we're smart enough to know that our idiocy can make us rich. You may have seen a person walk boldly into high speed traffic. It's because they know that if you hit them, you might be buying them a new boat. It's kind of a step down from the instincts we had as caveman to get the hell out of the way when a giant rock was rolling at us. No caveman was going to jump in front of a dinosaur and scream "Ka-CHING!" all the way to the caveman hospital. At the rate we're going, we'll have all quit our jobs in thirty years and be trying to kill ourselves full time."

Curses removed courtesy of yours truly. I does it for the childrens.

[Nikson]

Awww, put the foul language back in It always makes stand-up comedy rants funnier :P

[TheGiantMidgit]

or you could just go to http://www.seanbaby.com/ the most BESTEST site this side of the interweb.

A disclaimer for you young'uns with your virgin vocabularies:

"This site is a gift to the world from San Francisco. All articles here are the property Seanbaby. Their ownership is protected by several government laws and nearly one type of karate. Comments about the site and my striking good looks are welcome, but keep in mind that if something here offended you, pulling the stick from your (behind, oh ho ho. How droll) gets you back to your kid's soccer practice a lot faster than writing an angry letter to me, crybaby."

[Iron_Scarecrow]

I ran a red light once, turning left, but only because there was an ambulance behind me who also wanted to turn with its siren going and all lanes were full so it couldn't go around me.


And the pyjama one reminds of another one I saw. Forget his name.

"I have a belt, it's holding up my pants, my pants have belt loops, they're holding up my belt, I don't know what going on down there, whose the real hero?"

[Blank_box]

:roflol:

Warning: THRER ARE SOME PEOPLE SO DUMP TO DO SO.

I remember that my microwave have very big lable on the front " RADIOACTIVE, DO NOT LOOK IN SIDE WHILE USING."

Unfortunately, my cousin came from countryside (in my country this mean very undeveloped region) and he was too interested in my microwave... What do you think he will do next?

After started waving my pizza this guy look through the tiny hole at the side of it... Then he was blind for weaks. The doctor didn't sure that what he would be next due to the side effect.

Perhaps, the words "If you look at everything anybody don't look at, you'll gain WHAT the others don't" is his philosophy(or just curiosity or stupudity... Idon't know)

And he gained SUCH the others don't really.

P.S.
The warning lable also translated in to my language as well...

[The Fifth Horseman]

"This side up." On a military-issue helmet.

[Danny252]

On the microwave: I can look in the front of my microwave...