«

[allyfaucet]

Benefits of Being Female (aside from the obvious one :angel: )

* We got off the Titanic first.
* We can scare male bosses with mysterious gynecological disorder excuses.
* When we buy a vibrator, it's sexy. When men buy a blow-up doll, it's pathetic.
* Our boyfriends' clothes look elfin and gorgeous on us -- guys look like complete idiots in ours.
* We can be groupies.
* Male groupies are stalkers.
* We've never lusted after a cartoon character or the central figure in a computer game.
* Taxis stop for us.
* Men die sooner, so we get to cash in on the life insurance.
* We don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing.
* Free drinks.
* Free dinners.
* We can hug our friends without wondering if they think we're gay.
* We know the truth about whether size matters.
* New lipstick gives us a whole new lease on life.
* Condoms make no significant difference in our enjoyment of sex.
* It's possible to live our whole lives without ever taking a group shower. * We don't fart to amuse ourselves.
* If we forget to shave, no one has to know.
* We can congratulate our teammate without ever touching her behind.
* If we have a zit, we know how to conceal it.
* We never have to reach down every so often to make sure our privates are still there.
* We have the ability to dress ourselves.
* We don't have to memorize Caddyshack or Fletch to fit in.
* We have an excuse to be totally cranky at least once a month.
* We can talk to people of the opposite sex without automatically picturing them naked.
* If we marry someone 20 years younger, we're aware that we look like an idiot.
* Our friends won't think we're weird if we ask whether there's spinach in our teeth.
* There are times when chocolate really can solve all our problems.
* Gay waiters don't make us uncomfortable.
* We'll never regret piercing our ears.
* We can fully assess a person just by looking at their shoes.
* We'll never discover we've been duped by a Wonderbra.

[Sebatianos]

Originally posted by allyfaucet@Sep 8 2005, 07:54 AM
Benefits of Being Female (aside from the obvious one :angel: )

* We got off the Titanic first.

Well I'd comment on the others too, but this one is tto good to be true...

I have an old German silent movie that tells the real story of the Titanic sinking!!!

Here's the story:
The Titanic is transporting a sarcofagus with an Egyptian mumy from Kairo to New York. But a couple of young lovers are making out on it and one (don't remember which one) gets cut by a thorn on the rose. The blood awakes the mumy and it turns all the male pasanger into zombies. So to stop the zombies the women aboard the ship sink the Titanic by deliberatly hitting an iceberg!
The last scene you can see is the iceberg and a woman navigating the ship directly towards it!

Unfortunately I haven't the entire thing - the begining is missing, so I don't know the exact title, but I can conver this scene into an AVI file and post it (I'm sure it would probably be legal as well, because the movie is probably so ols it's not copyright protected anymore).

[ReamusLQ]

Originally posted by allyfaucet@Sep 7 2005, 10:54 PM
Benefits of Being Female (aside from the obvious one :angel: )

* We don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing.

that doesn't apply to all girls... :whistle: (interpret that as you will

[blastradius14]

That's one reason I don't dance. The other is I don't know how anyway LOL

But seriously, I don't have a problem with any of those things. You want to wear my clothes just go right ahead :bleh:

[Fruit Pie Jones]

Originally posted by ReamusLQ+Sep 8 2005, 08:14 AM--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (ReamusLQ @ Sep 8 2005, 08:14 AM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteBegin-allyfaucet@Sep 7 2005, 10:54 PM
* We don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing.

that doesn't apply to all girls... :whistle: (interpret that as you will[/b][/quote]
Yeah, let's not forget the Elaine Dance from that Seinfeld episode. This isn't the best pic of it, but anyone who's seen the episode knows what I'm talking about.

[a1s]

those who know, have seen it allready, and the rest of us have no clue as to what you are talking about, why don't you post a small movie of it?

[Fruit Pie Jones]

I haven't found one, just a couple of stills. I'll see what I can turn up, though.

[eolsunder]

"* We've never lusted after a cartoon character or the central figure in a computer game. "

Obviously you never visited the FF boards and saw all the girls posts on "Tidus is so cute" or " Who is sexiest man in all the Final fantasy games" hehe.

"* If we marry someone 20 years younger, we're aware that we look like an idiot. "

True, but the thing is, if we marry someone 20 years younger, WE DON"T CARE! if we look like a idiot. ha. Women don't seem to understand that, we only care that she's 20 years old instead of 40. <grin>

[Blood-Pigggy]

Can we please stop with the sexist jokes?

[Havell]

Originally posted by Blood-Pigggy@Sep 8 2005, 09:13 PM
Can we please stop with the sexist jokes?

No. :bleh:

As owned of this thread and a mod here I give permission for any manner of sexist, racist (to an extent) and obscene jokes. I'm considering putting a warning on this to warn of jokes about taboo things.