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Old 21-07-2005, 04:31 AM   #79
ReamusLQ
Home Sweet Abandonia

 
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Shella, Kenya
Posts: 1,001
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HAZARDOUS MATERIALS INFORMATION SHEET MATERIALS SAFETY DATA

WOMEN: A CHEMICAL ANALYSIS

ELEMENT: Women

SYMBOL: WO (Var. HO depending on which periodic table used)

DISCOVERER: Adam

ATOMIC MASS: Accepted at 53.6 kg but known to vary from 40-200 kg

OCCURENCES: Migrates in clusters. Copious quantities in all urban areas.

PHYSICAL PROPERTIES:
1. Surface usually covered in painted film.
2. Boils at nothing, freezes without known reason.
3. Melts if given special treatment.
4. Bitter if incorrectly used.
5. Found in various states from virgin metal to common ore.
6. Yields if pressure applied in correct places.

CHEMICAL PROPERTIES:
1. Has great affinity for gold, silver and a range of precious stones.
2. Absorbs great quantities of expensive substances.
3. May explode spontaneously without prior warning and for no known reason.
4. Insoluble in liquids, but activity increases greatly upon saturation in alcohol.
5. Most powerful money reducing agent known to man.

COMMON USES:
1. Highly ornamental, especially in sports cars.
2. Can be a great relaxation aid.
3. Very effective cleaning agent.

TESTS:
1. Pure specimen turns rosy pink when discovered in the "natural" state.
2. Turns green when placed beside a better specimen.

HAZARDS:
1. Highly dangerous except in experienced hands.
2. Illegal to possess more than one, although several can be maintained at
different locations for an indefinite amount of time so long as
specimens do not come into direct contact with each other.

ALWAYS FOLLOW CORRECT LABORATORY TESTING PROCEDURES

WHEN DEALING WITH LESS REFINED SPECIMENS OR SPECIMENS FOR WHICH
HISTORICAL DATA IS UNAVAILABLE ALWAYS WEAR PROTECTIVE EQUIPMENT!!

Edit: sorry for the double post, I forgot about my one before this
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