Doctor comes to guy in hospital..
I have some good news and some bad news for you
The bad news are that you have incurable cancer
The guy,absolutely shocked,says:And the good news?
Doctor replies:You see that nice blonde nurse there?Well,Im having a date with her tonight
And now some "absolute" jokes(not to be mistaken with absolut jokes)
You know what's:
absolute slime?
Two snails making out in spit-bowl
absolute drunkeness?
when you cant even lie on the ground without somebody helping you.
absolute fat?
When you lie on the beach and greenpeace starts pulling you back to the sea.
absolute unluckiness?
when you jump out of burning plane and land directly on sinking ship.
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