This seems like a spiraling matter. Going in circles all the the time. I am outta power. I'm tired, haven't slept well for almost two weeks now and I feel I'm getting ill. It seems my energy is depleted but I don't care. I will push on for the greater good.
I met her on the corridor 10 mins ago. She told me that Peter is here, and she accidentaly left the forum open and Peter started to read this very topic. I have mixed feelings about this :/ One of my side is blazing with hellish fire and wanting him to read all this, face what happened these days and get things straight with her. My other side is confused on what to do, but one thing is for sure, I don't want to hurt Gabi more. I haven't even wanted to hurt her in the first place. But it seems like only my evil side has a concept in this matter on how should I act. "Take revenge" my devil says "She took away your love, now you must take away her's! Go tell that Peter dude what's up! Or you wan't to be a coward in yer entire life you mothaf*kka?!"
But no, I'm not that kinda man, I still care for her. And why ruin her relationship when it already seems ruined from here. Or I could be utterly wrong. I still love her I can't help it.
All I can do now is wait. For how long? I don't know. Maybe forever. I don't how much time does she need. Maybe someday she will realize the chance she missed, but then I would be nowhere to find. I just we could be happy together, but the only thing beetween me and her is Peter. A guy who doesn't know a thing about what happened in the last 2 weeks, and if it is for Gabi, he will never know. I feel sorry for him actually, to live behind a huge wall of lies Gabi built beetween them, but that is her decision so I can't do anything about it. If she wants to do it that way, I'm not the guy to intervene....
Well I don't know what to say really. I'm still here, still living, still waiting for Gabi...