Quote:
Originally posted by Sebatianos@Apr 11 2006, 10:55 AM
Well, this one is better if told in person (but still very cruel).
A father and his handicaped (celebral paralises) son are watching TV together.
Dad: "Son, go and fetch me a beer."
Son (drooling, having trouble speaking, shaking all over): "Get it yourslef!"
Later on...
Dad: "Son, get me my smokes."
Son (drooling, having trouble speaking, shaking all over): "Get them yourslef!"
Father gets angry!
Dad: "Son, show some more respect! I created you!"
Son (drooling, having trouble speaking, shaking all over): "And a fine job you did!"
Should really be told in person...
How did Vikings call bad hunters?
Vegetarians!
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This joke was told at the "Juste pour rire" comedy festival, several years ago, by a comedian with cerebral palsy:
I was at a restaurant and I started choking, so I began waving my arms frantically, to get some help. It turns out that I proposed to the deaf woman across the room and now I have a wife who never listens to me!
Other remembered snippets from the festival:
There are two kinds of people in this world; those that have carefree sex with strangers, and jealous people.
I know we smoke alot in Newfoundland, but here in Montreal you smoke like it was a cure for cancer!
Silly geek joke:
There are 10 kinds of people in this world; those that understand binary encoding and those that do not.
There was an episode of ST:TNG that featured Data trying to learn about humor and it had a throwaway line about a comedian who based his routine on quantum mathematics. There really are jokes from quantum mathematics:
Imagine if Plank's constant was three . . .
Everyone would need cars big enough that they would not tunnel out of them. Stairs would be impossible; unless, everybody was the same weight. The less said about multiple doors at the entrance of large buildings, the better.
Officer: Do you know how fast you were going?
Motorist: No, I was tired of getting lost.
I doubt that very many of you will get the quantum humor, but those that do will have enjoyed them.