*knock knock*
Arete opens her door: Yes?
Doctor "Strange": Och, ja, it'z ze onkly girl in ze skvad!
A: *sigh* Don't play around. We all know you're from Kentucky and you went to Harvard.
Dr: Ve haf to keep up appearances, no?
A: Whatever. Can I help you?
Dr: I see *ahem* I zee you haf a functioning door? Und all your furniture iz ... how you say ... "o.k."?
A: Did you want something? It's just that I'm kinda busy... And it's people like you who caused that Large Hadron Collider disaster ages ago and now there's no more Switzerland, which makes me kinda mad, because I know I would've loved Toblerone and ...
Dr: I vas not involved. I klaim no responsibility.
A: Hmmmf. You wanted to borrow some furniture?
Dr: May I komm in?
A: Ja. I mean yes (aaagh).
Dr: Ooh, ze latest szpanking new couch vis ze mental interface to ze internetz! Vis cupholderz und everyting! Und iz zat...
A: Sshh! You'll disturb my 2 o'clock. Come in, and don't touch anything with your disgusting LHC-tainted hands.
*mrrroar*
A: Shnookums! Get down! You know you're not allowed in here!
*patient on table moans in terror*
A: She's a big softy really. She'd never hurt a fly. Well ... maybe a fly.
Dr: How the hell did you get a fully-grown tiger in here?
A: Easy, really. And Eagle of Fire baby-sits her on occasion, which is great, because Major Damage wouldn't allow her in here otherwise. But most of the time I take her on my ship to a forest-world hereabouts. Unfortunately, "Ship" is on holiday. I guess she had to take leave sometime... And that damn ship of GTX's kept me up last night with it's tuneless singing that doesn't even rhyme.
Dr: It's a big ... bloody ... tiger!
*mmrroar* *snifff*
A: Out, Shnookums! Leave the nice men alone.
[to Dr] I came in here yesterday and she was eating a Brainsucker! Just ... tucking into it. I could still hear it screaming, after it was dead for three hours. (Wasn't expecting *you*, was he, baby?) It's playing merry hob with her digestion, though.
Tiger: *burp*
[Arete closes the door behind the tiger.]
A [to patient]: Juuust a bad dream. Go to sleep, now, and we'll have your new implants connected up and interfaced in a jiffy.
Dr: *ahem, gasp* I zought zeese brain implants vere illegal in most systems?
A: Illegal to *insert* in most systems. Except, curiously, Earth. And once you have them irrevocably wired into your neural system, who's gonna try take 'em out?
Dr: I vould like to azk...
A: I see your accent's returned.
Dr: Hmmf. Not every day do I zee a bloody gzeat big tiger standink on szombody's bed like zat...
A: I'll be frank with you, Doctor, this base has me wired.
Dr: Vell, wot vis ze attack und now all zese dzoids runnink around banging sings, I agree zere vill be a bit of upzet...
A: Haven't you noticed? The place is full of kids! There's a mercenary who *claims* to have conquered half the universe but looks a lot like some Wanted posters I've seen, a fourteen-year-old in a terrible mental state after he lost his hand, and the garden is now a complete mess. (I mean, it is an underground base and everything, but there should be standards!) My bosses are quite freaked out...
Dr: Who are you vorking for?
A: That is classified.
*mroar*
A: So don't ask again. Besides which, who is this mysterious "Fifth Horseman" who gives us all our orders?
Dr: Er, interestink ...
*mrrooar*
Dr: Lisssen, can I borrow your szpatchula?
A:
o.k. Why didn't you ask straight away?