You're right in describing the negative aspects of patriotism, but it's not just something that produced wars!
War is deffinetly stupid and if a country is at war no one should blame you for running away. There should be no wars in the first place. But wars aren't made because of patriotism. Even befor nations developed there were wars. When the first group of human like apes found a water hole and chased the second group away to keep the water to them selves there was a war. It's not right, but it's natuarl. The laws of nature are not nice - it's the survival of the fittest. If something then patriotism helped us overcome this a little bit. Every nation that takes pride in it's culture is proving that they are a certain group that can contribute. If you say I'm Me and I can do this - OK, but if they know your from that and that place - then they'll judge a whole area differently - and that can make a bond. As a patriot you can also be an ambasador of good will, ateacher of the ways of your culture - those are the things that bring people closer together (like when people were exchanging their national pastries in some thread here). Nothing wrong with that - you can only learn and contribute.
And if others see that you're a part of an evolved culture they are less likely to look down on you. So partiotism can and has contributed to the emantipation of differenta nations and has produced a world of greater equality among people of different races... If the descendents of black slaves brought to America wouldnt fell some patriotism and start the civil right movements then they would still be visitning the black only toilets...
So it's not a bad thing - it's what people make of it.
Sorry to say - but if you would stop all the patriotism, nationalism, racism, fundamentalism,... you could still not stop wars. Not that I want them, but if you look into the history (all 7000 years of writen history) you'll see that wars are just a natural way of life - becasue people don't spend enough time on preventing them and setteling their differences in a peaceful manor.
To do that many things must change - and they will, but it'll take us at least another 3000 years until we'll reach the stage advanced enough to stop fighting.
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