Now that has got ot be one of the thoughtest questions to answer, but you all know me, I'll make a long and half sensless post about it...
First off I have to say that I think there are only 3 emotions: FEAR, LOVE and HATE. They are all conceted. If you love someone or hate someone enough you'll be able to overcome the fear and do something (either you'll be able to sacrifice your self to save another, or you'll be able to kill your self, just so you'd hurt someone else). But those are extremes now.
So let's talk about love (baby, let's talk about...)
Love is an emotion, but like every emotion it's not eternal! It's everchanging. And even while in love you can feel negative feelings toward the same person as well.
People can love things, ideas, people, themselves,...
When we talk about love towards people it's importaint to know, that not everybody is capable of love. To be able to love, you have to be unselfish enough. Really selfish people (usually also intelectually lower people - IQ betewwn 85-100) put them selves in the first place and can only love something or someone, that pleases them. Apart from that, they lack the capasity for loving another (they also have problems respecting fellow human beings and are usually the main cause of xenophobia, intolerance,...). Yet I said they could love something that pleases them. Unfortunately again they only take their selfish possition and wish to have more and more of that pleasent thing untill they drain it, but can give very little in return.
There is another kind of love, which is unconditional. This is the famous love so emphisised in the human history. Yes, this kind of love exists, but it's exactly this kind of love, that is short lived. No one is flawless, but until you're madly and blindly in love, you don't see that. At that point you create for your self an image of the perfect person, because you wish to attach all the best atributes you can thing of to the person you love. If this is unhapy love and you never come together with that person, then this love is extremely strong (this person didn't show that he/she isn't perfect). If however you are with such a person for a longer time period then you'll see many shortcomings of that person. At the begining you'll admire that person, but will be surprised to see, that person can not melt with you and you can't become one. This means both have their own needs even if very much alike. One wishes to have a romantic evening the other is too tired (this is a classic example). Now the tired one feels the romantic evening as a burden ant the romantic one feelt this is an insoult to the effort. So they start making compromises. At that point the ultimative love starts fading away, because you have to adjust yourself to the needs of another. That's a skill people in the world of today are lacking, thus many fights brake out (maybe people always lacked that skill, but in the past the woman was almost always forced to give in - which was off course wrong).
You still love that person and are prepared to move mountains for him/her, but not to move your own arse while watching your favourite TV show (with only five more minutes till the end, and that person asks you for a srecwdriver/kitchen utility - that is needed at that very moment - you can't keep the wires apart for five more minutes, or you can't hold the boiling pot in your hand for five more minuter - so you do it yourself somehow and resent the incapability of the other to help you).
Then there is the love for the family (which is based on respect and being used to the same people). If a child is taken away from the mother and they meet 20 years later - without knowing who the other one is - they won't feel any love (although biologically they are still a parent and a child). On the other hand children can get attached to their forster parents just as much (sometimes even more) then to their real parents. There's also the category of syblings - there love can be measured in miles the more between them - the bigger the love LOL ).
But I think that the sentance: "You still love that person and are prepared to move mountains for him/her, but not to move your own arse while watching your favourite TV show," really said it all. After a while this is what happens and then you have to start changing (it's all a part of growing up). You need to adjust your self to a frequency that is compatible with the significant other - who also adjusts to that frewuency. If that isn't possible the relationship has to end (otherwise both would just suffer and hold on because of the feeling they used to have and an image of a person that's not real). Also it's importaint that both make this adjustment, otherwise one is in a submisive position. However I must say, that a relationship with one person being subordinate to another could also work - but I'm agains unequality.
If I've been unclear at any (or all) points feel free to ask anything (either in the thread or through PM).
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