Firewall's better to go with Kerio's Personal Firewall, although I've heard alot of good things 'bout ZoneAlarm too. For Anti-spyware, you're best off with Ad-Aware. Something with Ms in front of its name when it comes to spyware... got my doubts 'bout that. Anyways, another matter that makes it run so slow, is that your comp's 350MHz. Dad's comp's got 400MHz and runs XP too. It goes fine when it's got nothing to do (although it starts rattling at random moments), but the moment it's got to multitask, it craps its pants. XP is designed to consume more resources than those systems can give, I'm afraid.
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