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[Prox]

What does IBM mean?

IDEAS BRING MONEY
INSIDIOUS BYZANTINE MENTALITY
INTERGALACTIC BOTTOMLINE MISTAKE
INEVITABLY BAD MARKETING
INDICISION BREEDS MISTAKES
INSHALLAH BURAK MA'LESH
IMENSA BOLA DE MANTECA
ICONOCLASTIC BILATERAL MONOPOLY
INCONTINENT BANDOLERISMO MOLOCK
IMPERIAL BELLICOSE` MARAUDER
IMPIOUS BACCHANALIAN METOPOLIS
I'D BUY MACINTOSH
IMBECILIC BAD MICROS
IMPERIALISIM BY MARKETING
INTENSELY BORING MACHINES
INTERESTING BUT MUNDANE
INTERNALS BY MEDIOCRITY
INTO BUILDING MONEY
INDUSTRIES' BUNGLING MONOLITH
IRRESPONIBLY BEHAVED MULTINATIONAL
INCREASINGLY BAD MANUFACTURING
INSIPIDLY BANKROLLING MILLIONS
INCONSISTENT BUSINESS MACHINES
INNOVATION BY MANAGEMENT
INDUSTRY BOWEL MOVEMENT
I'M BEING MANIPULATED
INTERNATIONAL BROTHERHOOD MAGICIANS
INTERCOURSE BEATS MASTUBATION
INCREDIBLY BLOODY MINDED
IDEALISTICALLY BACKWARD MICROCOMPUTERS
INTENTIONALLY BRAINDAMAGED MACHINERY
IDLE BRAIN MALFUNCTION
IMITABLE BORING MICROCOMPUTERS
IMPECCABLY BLUE-DRESSED MANAGERS
ITTY BITTY MACHINES
I'VE BEEN MISLED
IFS BUTS MAYBES
IT'S BETTER 'MORROW
INCOMPATIBLE BLUE MACHINES
INDIGESTION BOTHERS ME
INTERSMASHABLE BYTE MANIPULATORS
ICONS BYGONES MY MOM'S
IT BREAKS MONTHLY
INFINITELY BAFFLING MOTIVES
I'M BUYING MACINTOSH
IT'S BETTER MANUALLY
IMITATION BURROUGHS MACHINE
INCREDIBLY BIG MONSTERS
ITTY BITTY MENTALITY
INCREDIBLE BOWEL MOVEMENT
I'VE BEEN MESMERIZED
INSIGNIFICANT BOTHERSOME MACHINES
ITS BROKE MA'AM
INTERNATIONAL BIT MANGLER
INCREASINGLY BANAL MANAGEMENT
INFERNAL BLUE MACHINE
INSULTINGLY BORING MICROCOMPUTERS
ILL-MANNERED BESOTTED MACROCOSM
IMMEASUREABLE BIGHEADED MALAPERT
IMPERSONAL BELLICOSE MAGNATE
INSOLENT BICKERING MAL-DER-MER
INDECOROUS BOASTFUL MERCENARY
INEPT BULLYING MENACE
IMMOVABLE BRASH MONOLITH
INFERIOR BEFORE MACINTOSH
ICI BEAUCOUP MERDE
I'M BEYOND MISTAKES
I'VE BEEN MANGLED
INHERENTLY BY MICROSOFT
INCREDIBLY BAD MANUALS
I'LL BUY MACINTOSH
IT'S BEYOND MONOLITHIC
INSTALL BIGGER MEMORY
INFERNAL BIG MISTAKE
INCREDIBLY BROAD MONOPOLY
IT'S BUGGING ME
ITTY BITTY MOUSE
I BRING MADNESS
INCREDIBLY BIG MANUFACTURER
INDUSTRY'S BIGGEST MISTAKE
I BUILT MINE
I BROKE MINE
IDIOTS BEING MENTAL
I'VE BEEN MAULED
INVENTED BY MALADROITS
INVENTED BY MARKETING
INSULTINGQ BOORISH MANNER
INANE BRUTISH MERCHANDIZING
INFINITE BUDGET MERCHANDIZING
IT'S BULLSHIT MUMMERY
IT'S BECOME MONOLITHIC
INADEQUATES BECOMING MILLIONAIRES
I'D BE MISINFORMING
IDIOTS BECAME MANAGERS
INCREDIBLY BORING MANUALS
INCREDIBLY BELLIGERENT MARKETING
INTERESTING BUY MEDIORCRE
INVENTED BY MURPHY
INSANELY BETTER MARKETING
ILLUSTRIOUS BUSY MICE
ITTY BITTY MAHARISHI
ILLMANNERS BEING MANDATORY
IT BROKE ME
ILLUSTRIOUS BANKRUPTCY MALEFACTOR
INSENSITIVITY BEGETS MEDIOCRITY
I'VE BECOME MAGNANIMOUS
I BLAME MATHEMATICS
INTERNAL BYTE MALEFUNCTION
INTELLECTUALLY BLESSED MARKETERS
INSTANT BLACK MARKET
IBMERS BUG ME
INDESTRUCTIBLE BLUE MONSTER
INCREDIBLY BIG MONEY
INDISPOSED BLACK MONDAY
I BELIEVE IN MONEY
INDUSTRY BULLY MANIFIQUE
INCREDIBLY BORING MACHINES
INFOWORLDS BEST MONEYMAKERS
INTERNATIONAL BUSINESS MANIPULATORS
INDUSTRY'S BIG MAMA
INTEL'S BEST MERCHANDIZER
INNOVATION? BAH! MARKETING
I'VE BEEN MEGAMARKETED
INDUSTRY'S BEING MEGAMARKETED
INTERNATIONAL BUSINESS MACHINES
IMITATION BURROUGHS MACHINES
IMPROVED BURROUGHS MACHINES
INFERIOR BUSINESS MACHINES
IMMENSELY BLAND MERCENARIES
IMPRUDENT BOORISH MOB
IMPERFECT BOMBASTIC MONEYMAKERS
INFAMOUS BIZZARE MONSTERS
INHUMAN BABBLING MADMEN
IGNORANT BAFFLING MAJORITY
ILLUSIVE BEWILDERING MYTHS
IDENTICAL BELLIGERENT MYSTICS
IMPERISHABLE BRUTAL MANURE
INSIPID BARBARIC MAGICIANS
ITSY BITSY MONOPOLY
INTENTIONALLY BEEN MANIPULATED
I BUY MORE





I found this on a 10 year old CD at my uncle's place so I don't know who wrote it, but who ever it is, THANK YOU!

[Havell]

MIRCOSOFT: Most Intelligent Customers Realize Our Software Only Fools Teenagers

WINDOWS: Will Install Needless Data On Whole System

MACINTOSH: Most Applications Crash, If Not, The Operating System Hangs

APPLE: Arrogance Produces Profit-Losing Entity

ISDN: It Still Does Nothing

And the best IBM one in my opinion:

I Blame Microsoft

[Red Diablo]

An old blind man walks into a lesbian bar, orders a beer and after a while says loudly:
"Did you hear the one about the stupid blonde ?"

The entire bar turns quiet in a second, and he hears a very angry voice:
"I'm a wrestling champion, and my girlfriend is a professional boxer.
Also with us are two karate experts, and a bodybuilder.
We're all blond ! Are you sure you want to tell that joke ?!?"

"No way! Not if I have to explain it five times.... :bleh:

[Unknown Hero]

I have that IBM jokes, too. Take a look at this one.

Errors

Cannot find REALITY.SYS. Universe halted.
COFFEE.EXE Missing - Insert Cup and Press Any Key
Buy a Pentium 586/90 so you can reboot faster.
Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes.
Computers are not intelligent. They only think they are.
My software never has bugs. It just develops random features.
C:\WINDOWS C:\WINDOWS\GO C:\PC\CRAWL C:\DOS C:\DOS\RUN RUN\DOS\RUN
-------- The information went data way --------
The Definition of an Upgrade: Take old bugs out, put new ones in.
BREAKFAST.COM Halted...Cereal Port Not Responding
The name is Baud......, James Baud.
BUFFERS=20 FILES=15 2nd down, 4th quarter, 5 yards to go!
Access denied--nah nah na nah nah!
Bad command or file name! Go stand in the corner.
Bad command. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaay..
Why doesn't DOS ever say "EXCELLENT command or filename!"
As a computer, I find your faith in technology amusing.
Backups? We don' *NEED* no steenking backups.
E Pluribus Modem
... File not found. Should I fake it? (Y/N)
Ethernet (n): something used to catch the etherbunny
A mainframe: The biggest PC peripheral available.
An error? Impossible! My modem is error correcting.
CONGRESS.SYS Corrupted: Re-boot Washington D.C (Y/n)?
Does fuzzy logic tickle?
A computer's attention span is as long as it's power cord.
Disinformation is not as good as datinformation.
Windows: Just another pane in the glass.
SENILE.COM found . . . Out Of Memory . . .
Who's General Failure, why's he reading my disk?
Ultimate office automation: networked coffee.
RAM disk is *not* an installation procedure.
Shell to DOS...Come in DOS, do you copy? Shell to DOS...
All computers wait at the same speed.
DEFINITION: Computer - A device designed to speed and automate errors
Smash forehead on keyboard to continue.....
Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue...
ASCII stupid question, get a stupid ANSI!
E-mail returned to sender -- insufficient voltage.
Help! I'm modeming... and I can't hang up!!!
All wiyht. Rho sritched mg kegtops awound?
Error: Keyboard not attached. Press F1 to continue.
"640K ought to be enough for anybody."- Bill Gates, 1981
DOS Tip #17: Add DEVICE=FNGRCROS.SYS to CONFIG.SYS
Hidden DOS secret: add BUGS=OFF to your CONFIG.SYS
Press any key... no, no, no, NOT THAT ONE!
Press any key to continue or any other key to quit...
Excuse me for butting in, but I'm interrupt-driven.
REALITY.SYS corrupted: Reboot universe? (Y/N/Q)
Sped up my XT; ran it on 220v! Works greO?#@$@%SEeRA
Error reading FAT record: Try the SKINNY one? (Y/N)
Read my chips: No new upgrades!
Hit any user to continue.
2400 Baud makes you want to get out and push!!
I hit the CTRL key but I'm still not in control!
Will the information superhighway have any rest stops?
Disk Full - Press F1 to belch.
Backup not found: (A)bort ®etry (T)hrowup
Backup not found: (A)bort ®etry (P)anic
A)bort, ®etry, (T)ake down entire network?
A)bort, ®etry, (G)et a beer?
If debugging is the process of removing bugs, then programming must be the process of putting them in. :P



BTW R Havell take a look at your joke about IBM. There are to many of the same jokes.

[Unknown Hero]

Ok. Let's stop with this "big" jokes. What about picture or sound jokes?
Take a look at this !
Crazy cow!

[Unknown Hero]

No new jokes today?
I guess it's again up to me to keep this thread alive.

Joke title: "How to make an icons in which you can't enter!"
Joke: "Click on show desktop icon or just close any window you are running.
Press "print screen", open paint, press ctrl+v or go to edit>paste. Go to file>save and choose a directory where you want to save your desktop. Close paint. Right click on desktop with mouse>properties>desktop>browse and find where you saved your desktop picture. Then put it as desktop background. Again close all windows, right click on desktop arrange icons by>show desktop icons (must be turned off) and finaly enjoy the faces of your parents and friends. ("Hey, Viktor, I think you have a virus on your computer!" )

[Havell]

Lol, I did that once at school, it was funny .

[Prox]

A lady accidentally drops her baby out of a window on the 16th floor of an apartment building...
-Help! Help! Someone save my baby!!!
-Don't worry mam, I'll catch it, I'm a professional goalkeeper!

-----GOOOOAAAALLLLLLLL!!!!!-----

(for those who didn't get it: He didn't catch the baby)


A father is trying to learn his son how to swim, so he throws him into a pool...
- Come on son, just wave youre arms and legs, c'mon arms-legs-arms-legs-arms-legs-arms-legs... Oh fcuk it now!!!

(for those who didn't get it: the kid drowned)

[Iron_Scarecrow]

There is a group of Nazi's on one side of the road having a picnic. There's a group of Palestinians on the other side of the road also having a picnic. A bus drives past and it's full of Jews. The driver hits the kerb and flips the bus, he climbs out and yells "Someone give me a hand" so all the Nazi's and the Palistinians stand up and clap.

A man walks into a pub (and says ouch (ahahahaha)) with a Emu and a Cat. they take a table and the man comes up to the bar and buys the first round. the Emu buys the second round. And then the man walks up to the bar to buy the third round. The bartender notices the Cat hasnt bought any rounds yet so he asks the man "I noticed the Cat hasnt bought any rounds yet". The man replies "Yeah I found a Genie in a bottle and I wished for a bird with long legs and a tight pussy".

Bernd telephones with his new hot girlfriend. "I love dry white wine", whispers she into the receiver. "I have two bottles in the cellar", sings Bernd. "I drive absolutely on Robbie Williams off" - "Yesterday I bought his newest CD, sweetie!" "I dream to make love on an animal fur for hours" - "No problem, darling, I'll shoot my dog!"