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[Fruit Pie Jones]

OK, I'll join in the fun.

jones is back and funny as ever - It's like I never left!
jones is holding out - Well, I have to leave something to your imagination.
jones is picasso with gloves - I'm also Monet with forks.
jones is a collaborative effort - I'd like to thank everyone involved in the production of me. Mom, Dad...thanks.
jones is murdering the classics - In self-defense! The classics came at me with a knife!
jones is my lara croft - Stop it, Danny, you're embarrassing me!
jones is the future - Specifically, I'm next Thursday.
jones is alive and well - I'm not living in Paris, though.
jones is a big dork - Hey!
jones is the man - That's more like it.
jones is kidding - No, I would never joke about such things.
jones is - That's deep, man. Pass the bong.
jones is king of country music - A common misunderstanding. I'm actually only the viscount of country music.
jones is bent - That "big dork" thing still has me upset.
jones is coming home - So have dinner ready.
jones is missing - At least I'm alive and well.
jones is passionately interested in the future of physics - Well, aren't we all?
jones is no role model for the modern woman - Sadly this is true. Modern woman, don't be like me.
jones is on the case - Crime is quaking in its metaphorical boots.
jones is on line one - Pick up, would ya?
jones is a recidivist spammer - Clearly I've been mistaken for someone else.
jones is checking out of a hotel when suddenly he has to take a s**t real bad - Come on, who hasn't had that happen?
jones is destiny's child - Illegitimately, of course.
jones is what he is - And that's all that he is.
jones is my bitch - No need to rub it in, Tom.
jones is a 20 - I'm like two Bo Dereks in one.
jones is looking at me again - She looked at me first!