As far as I know, Video Card memory is dedicated to store video cards prosesses (and this saves internal memory for other things, and it saves bandwith since the memory chips are ON the card that calculates graphics).
In the most of todays games 128MB of graphics memory is sufficient to store the textures etc.
Doom 3 will run faster and better looking on a 256mb card (of the same type/GPU). Because you have to use compressed textures wich looks less detailed (like JPEG vs. BMP). If you use uncomressed textures with 128mb ram you'll notice a slowdown because the computer starts to use the main memory for the textures (and unless you have some megabytes free here, you'll start to use the harddrive SWAP... and that SUX)
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