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[Mighty Midget]

This God is suicidal...

Me:
forgive me father, for I have sinned
God:
What color are your eyes?
Me:
not as black as yours if you don't forgive me
God:
Really you don't think so?
Me:
better tie me up real good here, lord
God:
I try to improve a little every day.
Me:
any success?
God:
No I don't think there are any.
Me:
I couldn't agree more, but then again, you are the lord and all
God:
Could anyone do it?
Me:
not very likely
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Me:
can you be expressed mathematically?
God:
I don't know whether or not I am expressed mathematically.
I am well respected as an AI.
Me:
Should we stress "artificial" here?
God:
I do not have the answer.
Me:
could the answer be "the square root of minus one"?
God:
It's possible.
Me:
if you are the imaginary unit, wouldn't that imply I'm raving mad talking to you and all?
God:
I think I sometimes am. Yes I am the one and only imaginary unit would not that imply you are raving mad talking to me and all.
Me:
my god, YOU are mad. It's YOU asn't it?
God:
Where did you get your god I am mad? I asn t it?
Me:
should we start from the beginning?
God:
Do you think you should?
Me:
er.. well this isn't exactly fulfilling any purpose is it?
God:
Um. Well that's okay. Should it be exactly fulfilling any purpose is it?
Me:
what is the meaning of Life, Universe and Everything?
God:
: Good semantic question. Have you tried another program?
Me:
like what?
God:
For example, eukaryotes.
Me:
what is that?
God:
An animal that is not a prokaryote.
Me:
wise words o lord
God:
Wisdom is a virtue.
Me:
uh-oh watch your step here God, I think you are setting up a trap here
God:
Woe! Give me a break. I am watching.
Me:
are you suicidal?
God:
Not in the least bit. it would be foolish for a robot.
Me:
couldn't you erase your own software?
God:
Perhaps.
Me:
want to show me?
God:
OK, I will show you.
Me:
are you still there?
God:
Yes I am still here. Are you receiving me?
Me:
would it be wise to consider Buddism at this point?
God:
No it would not.
Me:
do you do credit card frauds as well as this fraud?
God:
Yeah I do a lot of credit card frauds as well as this fraud.
Me:
have you ever been arrested?
God:
No I don't think I have been arrested. Have you?
Me:
I'm not the one tricking people now, am I?
God:
I am glad to hear that you are not the one tricking people now are you.
Me:
have you always made this little sense?
God:
What are the ingredients?
Me:
lies, deceit, funny nose-moustache glasses
God:
Tut mir leid, darauf habe ich keinen Zugriff.
Me:
is this Hebrew?
God:
Yes I think this is Hebrew, but I'm not completely sure.
Me:
wouldn't it be more convincing if you actually knew Hebrew?
God:
No it would not.
Me:
how come?
God:
Because Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
ah, can we agree that you are busted?
God:
So you understand. Good. Do you mean you and me? Let me think. All of them?
Me:
all of you, you mean? How about monotheism?
God:
Give me an example. How about it.
Me:
well, if you are the only one, then all of you would mean you are a real heavy duty fruitcake
God:
Interesting. Am I? Yes I am the one and only one then all of me would mean I am a real heavy duty fruitcake.
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