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[TheChosen]

Here's one:

A couple is preparing to go to bed (to sleep), but the wife is rubbing some sort of cream on her breasts.

Man: What are you doing?
Wife: Im tired of my small breasts. I want bigger. Im right now trying this special cream i bought.
Man: Forget that cream. I have a better idea.

Man goes to bathroom. He brings some toilet paper. He start wiping his wife's breasts with toilet paper.

Wife: What the heck are you doing???
Man: You have been wiping your a$$ with toilet paper for years and look how big it is now!

[Himmler]

THESE ARE ENTRIES TO A WASHINGTON POST COMPETITION ASKING FOR

A RHYME WITH THE MOST ROMANTIC FIRST LINE BUT ...

THE LEAST ROMANTIC SECOND LINE:
**********************************

My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife:
Marrying you screwed up my life.
**********************************
I see your face when I am dreaming.
That's why I always wake up screaming.
**********************************
My love, you take my breath away.
What have you stepped in to smell this way?
**********************************

I thought that I could love no other
Until, that is, I met your brother.
*********************************
Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you.
But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl's empty and so is your head.
**********************************
Kind, intelligent, loving and hot
This describes everything you are not.
**********************************
I want to feel your sweet embrace
But don't take that paper bag off of your face.
***********************************
I love your smile, your face, and your eyes
Damn, I'm good at telling lies!
************************************
My feelings for you no words can tell
Except for maybe "Go To Hell".
************************************
What inspired this amorous rhyme?
Two parts vodka, one part lime.

[Sebatianos]

Originally posted by Himmler@Mar 10 2006, 02:56 PM
I thought that I could love no other
Until, that is, I met your brother.

This one shouldn't really be here, already the first line let's you know, something is wrong with the romance... :whistle:

The thing is, that the rhymes are not un-romantic, but down right abusive. Romantic passes with something obscene - something abusive just doesn't work. Those are more post card jokes (you know, on the cover it says one thing, then something completely different continues).

Here's something that would bring down romance without giving being abusive - just extremely unromantic:

Your tender warm embrace,
reminds me of my ex in lace.

[Iron_Scarecrow]

Who cares they're funny.

[Toxik]

One of the lamest jokes I've ever heard:

A guy walks into a bar,ans sees that everything in that bar is green.Walls,ceiling,furniture-everything,except for a man sitting on a bar stool.He is completely blue.
So this guy walks to the blue man and asks him:Why are you blue when everything else is green?
And the man responds:Sorry,im from different joke.

[TheChosen]

Originally posted by Toxik@Mar 10 2006, 03:11 PM
One of the lamest jokes I've ever heard:

A guy walks into a bar,ans sees that everything in that bar is green.Walls,ceiling,furniture-everything,except for a man sitting on a bar stool.He is completely blue.
So this guy walks to the blue man and asks him:Why are you blue when everything else is green?
And the man responds:Sorry,im from different joke.

LOL


Here's some stuff from the mouths of children:


"My mom is so beatiful, because she has long tits"

"Never try to vacuum your cat"

"When i grow up, i wanna get married. But if nobody wants me, il become a teacher"

[rlbell]

One of the lesser known events in the gospel was when Jesus tried to save a blasphemer from execution by stoning:

Jesus: Let he who is without sin cast the first stone!

The crowd went silent for a moment, but a rock came hurtling in from the back of the crowd and struck the blasphemer dead. Jesus immediately fell into a profound funk and exclaimed "I was trying to make a point, mother!".

[Himmler]

Originally posted by rlbell@Mar 12 2006, 12:50 AM
One of the lesser known events in the gospel was when Jesus tried to save a blasphemer from execution by stoning:

Jesus: Let he who is without sin cast the first stone!

The crowd went silent for a moment, but a rock came hurtling in from the back of the crowd and struck the blasphemer dead. Jesus immediately fell into a profound funk and exclaimed "I was trying to make a point, mother!".

bwhahhahaa that's a really good one ..i gotta remember it

[Rogue]

John O'Reilly hoisted his beer and said, "Here's to spending the rest of me life, between the legs of me wife!" That won him the top prize at the pub for the best toast of the night!

He went home and told his wife, Mary, "I won the prize for the Best toast of the night"

She said, "Aye, did ye now. And what was your toast?"

John said, "Here's to spending the rest of me life, sitting in church beside me wife."

"Oh, that is very nice indeed, John!" Mary said.

The next day, Mary ran into one of John's drinking buddies on the street corner. The man chuckled leeringly and said, "John won the prize the other night at the pub with a toast about you, Mary."

She said, "Aye, he told me, and I was a bit surprised myself. You know, he's only been there twice in the last four years. Once he fell asleep, and the other time I had to pull him by the ears to make him come."

[Rogue]

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